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Starting this early to celebrate the return of club football. Here's a well-written preview from La Liga Loca (http://laligaloca.blogspot.com)
At Last, the Great Weekend Preview
Saturday
Real Betis (15th) v Villarreal (11th)
What was already turning out to be a bad week for Betis’ Benjamin looks like getting a lot worse, on Saturday. The striker was busy turning out for his Guinean team, against Rwanda, over the weekend, when he suddenly collapsed and rather worryingly, stopped breathing. Luckily, the timely intervention of local doctor Patrick Mbakale, brought the forward back to life and half an hour later, Benjamin had to be held back by team-mates as he attempted to get back to the game. The cause of the collapse was reported to be fatigue, heat-stroke and stress. But none of them serious enough for Betis to contemplate resting him against Villarreal, due to injuries to Sobis and Pancrate. Draw.
Real Sociedad (20th) v Levante (16th)
La Real are currently putting their fans through the crap-team conundrum. Is it better to be relegated nice and early or have the inevitable dragged out to the very last moment, like a film on Antena 3? The strangely perky Miguel Angel Lotina is going for the latter option. Last week, the Sociedad manager made a bet with the local press, that should his side stay up, he would treat them to a dinner and a trip to the Caribbean. Strangely, no one took him up on the offer. La Liga Loca would already be packing its factor 50, had the same deal come its way. Home win.
Valencia (4th) v Espanyol (10th)
It can´t be easy being Luis Aragonés’ butt monkeys - but it is a duty performed with honour, by Valencia. Six of their players were in the Spanish squad for the Denmark and Iceland games - and the cost has been high. Not only have the footballers had to suffer the emotional trauma of sharing the same air as the simian Seleccionater, but one poor soul, Fernando Morientes, has been knocked out of action for three weeks after a nasty collision with a large stationary object - and it wasn’t Maniche. Home win.
Barcelona (1st) v Deportivo (12th)
With just eleven games left, its commitment all the way from Barcelona’s players, this week, as they tackle a golden opportunity to build up a lead over their rivals. “I won’t put a gun to anyone’s head to stay”, claims Javier Saviola with an astute grasp of the law. “I just want to play football,” grumbled d’inho in response to the continued transfer speculation, “everything else is up to my brother”. Despite such talk worthy of Braveheart himself, Barcelona should find Saturday’s match fairly easy going against a side about to lose their coach and looking to flog Andrade to the opposition over the summer. Home win.
Sunday
Atletico Madrid (6th) v Mallorca (14th)
Pictures of impoverished looking children on their hands and knees scrubbing floors for no financial reward, would normally be enough to bring the UN in on jetcopters. But not at Atletico Madrid, which proudly publicised its long standing slavery scheme in the pages of AS on Thursday. It appears that the club uses 250 ‘volunteers’ to do all the jobs, that no one else wants to do. Or cost money. Even worse, some are forced to watch the games, as well. “You do all this, for us”, gasped Miguel Angel Gil for the cameras, as he was told stories of how their heroic sacrifice pays for Fernando Torres to ponce about the field like a big ejiit. Home win.
Getafe (9th) v Zaragoza (5th)
Getafe need three more points to stay up, but they can´t seem to get them. Like Ronaldo and his toes, the forty point barrier seems to be unreachable. Sunday’s match against a Zaragoza side hoping to overhaul Valencia is going to be tougher going than chewing on one of Luis Aragones’ now infamous Viagra tortillas. Draw.
‘Nastic (19th) v Recreativo (7th)
During the week, Gimnastic had a bit of a boardroom burnout and changed the leadership of the club, after a share buy out. But it won’t change the ultimate destination of the Catalan club, one iota. Still, any side that boasts the tremendously named Bizarri and Mingo in their side deserves a little bit of La Liga Loca’s support. Draw.
Racing Santander (8th) v Athletic Bilbao (18th)
In the good old days, ‘doing a Charlton’ used to mean getting enough points to stay up by March and then do bugger all else for the rest of the season. Now it means, blow lots of cash, sack two managers and get relegated. Sunday´s match will be a strong indication of whether the home team, will be ‘doing a Charlton’ and putting on their footballing slippers, now they have forty points, or whether they will be inflicting yet more pain on Athletic Bilbao. Home win.
Celta Vigo (17th) v Real Madrid (3rd)
Celta Vigo have come up with a crazy plan to counter the threat of a still dangerous team with the best away record in the the league (true) - lucky charms. “People have been saying that we have been losing at the Balaidos due to bad luck!” squealed the club’s director of marketing, Marian Mouriño. With this in mind, Celta have asked fans to bring in trinkets, Virgins (of the statue variety) and rabbits’ feet to the game on Sunday. It really wouldn’t surprise La Liga Loca if it came across people in Galicia looking behind their televisions for the ‘magic pixies’ that make it work. Away win.
Osasuna (13th) v Sevilla (2nd)
Although, their league position wouldn’t suggest it, there is something about a Sunday visit to Pamplona that brings out fear in most fans. It would not be a sweeping generalisation (well, it would) to suggest that Osasuna supporters pretty much hate everyone who doesn’t come from their mountain kingdom. And they never grow tired of making that clear during to their visitors during games. Sevilla are the latest victims and they will facing the home side with a dicky Freddie Kanouté and a knacked Dani Alvés as they continue their ongoing campaign to hand the league title to Barcelona. Home win.
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At Last, the Great Weekend Preview
Saturday
Real Betis (15th) v Villarreal (11th)
What was already turning out to be a bad week for Betis’ Benjamin looks like getting a lot worse, on Saturday. The striker was busy turning out for his Guinean team, against Rwanda, over the weekend, when he suddenly collapsed and rather worryingly, stopped breathing. Luckily, the timely intervention of local doctor Patrick Mbakale, brought the forward back to life and half an hour later, Benjamin had to be held back by team-mates as he attempted to get back to the game. The cause of the collapse was reported to be fatigue, heat-stroke and stress. But none of them serious enough for Betis to contemplate resting him against Villarreal, due to injuries to Sobis and Pancrate. Draw.
Real Sociedad (20th) v Levante (16th)
La Real are currently putting their fans through the crap-team conundrum. Is it better to be relegated nice and early or have the inevitable dragged out to the very last moment, like a film on Antena 3? The strangely perky Miguel Angel Lotina is going for the latter option. Last week, the Sociedad manager made a bet with the local press, that should his side stay up, he would treat them to a dinner and a trip to the Caribbean. Strangely, no one took him up on the offer. La Liga Loca would already be packing its factor 50, had the same deal come its way. Home win.
Valencia (4th) v Espanyol (10th)
It can´t be easy being Luis Aragonés’ butt monkeys - but it is a duty performed with honour, by Valencia. Six of their players were in the Spanish squad for the Denmark and Iceland games - and the cost has been high. Not only have the footballers had to suffer the emotional trauma of sharing the same air as the simian Seleccionater, but one poor soul, Fernando Morientes, has been knocked out of action for three weeks after a nasty collision with a large stationary object - and it wasn’t Maniche. Home win.
Barcelona (1st) v Deportivo (12th)
With just eleven games left, its commitment all the way from Barcelona’s players, this week, as they tackle a golden opportunity to build up a lead over their rivals. “I won’t put a gun to anyone’s head to stay”, claims Javier Saviola with an astute grasp of the law. “I just want to play football,” grumbled d’inho in response to the continued transfer speculation, “everything else is up to my brother”. Despite such talk worthy of Braveheart himself, Barcelona should find Saturday’s match fairly easy going against a side about to lose their coach and looking to flog Andrade to the opposition over the summer. Home win.
Sunday
Atletico Madrid (6th) v Mallorca (14th)
Pictures of impoverished looking children on their hands and knees scrubbing floors for no financial reward, would normally be enough to bring the UN in on jetcopters. But not at Atletico Madrid, which proudly publicised its long standing slavery scheme in the pages of AS on Thursday. It appears that the club uses 250 ‘volunteers’ to do all the jobs, that no one else wants to do. Or cost money. Even worse, some are forced to watch the games, as well. “You do all this, for us”, gasped Miguel Angel Gil for the cameras, as he was told stories of how their heroic sacrifice pays for Fernando Torres to ponce about the field like a big ejiit. Home win.
Getafe (9th) v Zaragoza (5th)
Getafe need three more points to stay up, but they can´t seem to get them. Like Ronaldo and his toes, the forty point barrier seems to be unreachable. Sunday’s match against a Zaragoza side hoping to overhaul Valencia is going to be tougher going than chewing on one of Luis Aragones’ now infamous Viagra tortillas. Draw.
‘Nastic (19th) v Recreativo (7th)
During the week, Gimnastic had a bit of a boardroom burnout and changed the leadership of the club, after a share buy out. But it won’t change the ultimate destination of the Catalan club, one iota. Still, any side that boasts the tremendously named Bizarri and Mingo in their side deserves a little bit of La Liga Loca’s support. Draw.
Racing Santander (8th) v Athletic Bilbao (18th)
In the good old days, ‘doing a Charlton’ used to mean getting enough points to stay up by March and then do bugger all else for the rest of the season. Now it means, blow lots of cash, sack two managers and get relegated. Sunday´s match will be a strong indication of whether the home team, will be ‘doing a Charlton’ and putting on their footballing slippers, now they have forty points, or whether they will be inflicting yet more pain on Athletic Bilbao. Home win.
Celta Vigo (17th) v Real Madrid (3rd)
Celta Vigo have come up with a crazy plan to counter the threat of a still dangerous team with the best away record in the the league (true) - lucky charms. “People have been saying that we have been losing at the Balaidos due to bad luck!” squealed the club’s director of marketing, Marian Mouriño. With this in mind, Celta have asked fans to bring in trinkets, Virgins (of the statue variety) and rabbits’ feet to the game on Sunday. It really wouldn’t surprise La Liga Loca if it came across people in Galicia looking behind their televisions for the ‘magic pixies’ that make it work. Away win.
Osasuna (13th) v Sevilla (2nd)
Although, their league position wouldn’t suggest it, there is something about a Sunday visit to Pamplona that brings out fear in most fans. It would not be a sweeping generalisation (well, it would) to suggest that Osasuna supporters pretty much hate everyone who doesn’t come from their mountain kingdom. And they never grow tired of making that clear during to their visitors during games. Sevilla are the latest victims and they will facing the home side with a dicky Freddie Kanouté and a knacked Dani Alvés as they continue their ongoing campaign to hand the league title to Barcelona. Home win.
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