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    ManU won on paper, but were raped on the pitch

    Ä
    Ä


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    ManU won on paper, but were raped on the pitch Empty ManU won on paper, but were raped on the pitch

    Post by Ä Wed Apr 11, 2007 1:36 pm

    my dear Englanders

    you have good reason to be happy about the 7:1 win over Roma

    after all, you managed to see as many goals in 90 minutes as you normally catch on your Saturday evening EPL Highlight session

    what a nice change to your everyday EPL action where goals come in homeopathic doses

    being good Englanders you already think the Cup is yours, total world domination is a formality, hey, with any luck the stupid natives will do most of the work whilst you revel in your newfound imperial grandeur

    we Continentals take a more sober look at what happened yesterday in Manchester

    a simple thought:

    how many goals has Carrick scored in the CL so far? hey, you may include the EPL in that , if you wish

    how many goals has Smith scored in the CL for ManU ?

    how many goals has ZEROoney scored in international football over the last 3 years ?

    how many goals has Ronaldo scored in the CL for ManU prior to yesterday's game ?

    get the drift ???

    the current ManU are like the current English Army: talking a good game, but firing blanks, if , indeed they have been issued with any ammo at all, and always under the condition that they have not surrendered already

    so what happened yesterday ? why can some of the most inept goalscorers in Christendom suddenly find the net at will ?

    the easy answer is that Roma provided quite possibly the worst Italian defence I have seen in over 70 years of watching football

    but really, that's only half the story

    it all boils down to my theory of "Everything mysteriously going right"

    let me explain

    when I went to unversity, I immediately joined the College Rowing Club; I had previously rowed in a club, but none of my University buddies had

    all of them were very fit, but NONE of them had ANY coordination; for weeks we created patterns in the water no rowing boat had ever created; at times the water movement looked as if we were feeding a few pigs to hundreds of piranhias

    then suddenly, one day, out of nowhere, EVERYBODY was moving in unison for about 10 strokes; it was heaven, we were floating on the water like angels on clouds

    for 10 fucking storkes ONLY

    afterwards , it was back to creating our whirlpool/boiling soup look

    did we ever recreate those 10 strokes of bliss ??

    of course not

    and this is exactly what happened to you in Manchester

    things just mysteriously clicked

    the Gods were breathing in unison whilst the Devils were distracted getting excited about the Bayern game, placing bets, discussing teamsheets, injuries...

    even until the 3:0 Roma were raping ManU on the pitch, but the Englanders were doing the scoring

    the Gods did not care, and I, for one rejoiced, for it meant that a Bayern vs ManU Semi was still on the cards

    @ Englanders and Germans

    yesterday, we ALL won

    remember our friend Pierre Littbarski: the most anti-English, anti-German, pro-Roma/Totti poster in the entire wide world ???

    well , I have news for you; Pierre has been seen somewhere in Bangkok selling his stash of Totti shirts for 5 Bath each and is not expected back in Europe in the near future

    wahre Geschichte <Ale>
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    Post by Forza It Wed Apr 11, 2007 1:43 pm

    Well made me smile, that's for sure.

    Only Otto, after a night of supreme demolition, can still have the cheek to somehow deny the carnage.
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    Post by Parks lives Wed Apr 11, 2007 1:44 pm

    Hehe.

    Taking it well Otto. Very Happy
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    Post by Isco Benny Wed Apr 11, 2007 1:45 pm

    Otto wrote: "the easy answer is that Roma provided quite possibly the worst Italian defence I have seen in over 70 years of watching football"

    --------------------------------------------------------

    Alzheimer's is no laughing matter, however it does explain a lot
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    Post by Luis Wed Apr 11, 2007 1:46 pm

    The Anti-English German's on here really don't have a chance in hell at the moment, to re-cap otto there are 2 teams most likely 3 English teams in the Champions league semi finals out of 4

    That's 3 English teams out of 4 teams in the semi finals

    32 Teams start

    4 in the semi's

    3 are English

    3.
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    Post by Parks lives Wed Apr 11, 2007 1:51 pm

    So did any United goals or players impress you, at all Otto?
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    Post by Rez Wed Apr 11, 2007 1:51 pm

    Otto der Schweinehund wrote:my dear Englanders

    you have good reason to be happy about the 7:1 win over Roma

    after all, you managed to see as many goals in 90 minutes as you normally catch on your Saturday evening EPL Highlight session

    what a nice change to your everyday EPL action where goals come in homeopathic doses

    being good Englanders you already think the Cup is yours, total world domination is a formality, hey, with any luck the stupid natives will do most of the work whilst you revel in your newfound imperial grandeur

    we Continentals take a more sober look at what happened yesterday in Manchester

    a simple thought:

    how many goals has Carrick scored in the CL so far? hey, you may include the EPL in that , if you wish

    how many goals has Smith scored in the CL for ManU ?

    how many goals has ZEROoney scored in international football over the last 3 years ?

    how many goals has Ronaldo scored in the CL for ManU prior to yesterday's game ?

    get the drift ???

    the current ManU are like the current English Army: talking a good game, but firing blanks, if , indeed they have been issued with any ammo at all, and always under the condition that they have not surrendered already

    so what happened yesterday ? why can some of the most inept goalscorers in Christendom suddenly find the net at will ?

    the easy answer is that Roma provided quite possibly the worst Italian defence I have seen in over 70 years of watching football

    but really, that's only half the story

    it all boils down to my theory of "Everything mysteriously going right"

    let me explain

    when I went to unversity, I immediately joined the College Rowing Club; I had previously rowed in a club, but none of my University buddies had

    all of them were very fit, but NONE of them had ANY coordination; for weeks we created patterns in the water no rowing boat had ever created; at times the water movement looked as if we were feeding a few pigs to hundreds of piranhias

    then suddenly, one day, out of nowhere, EVERYBODY was moving in unison for about 10 strokes; it was heaven, we were floating on the water like angels on clouds

    for 10 fucking storkes ONLY

    afterwards , it was back to creating our whirlpool/boiling soup look

    did we ever recreate those 10 strokes of bliss ??

    of course not

    and this is exactly what happened to you in Manchester

    things just mysteriously clicked

    the Gods were breathing in unison whilst the Devils were distracted getting excited about the Bayern game, placing bets, discussing teamsheets, injuries...

    even until the 3:0 Roma were raping ManU on the pitch, but the Englanders were doing the scoring

    the Gods did not care, and I, for one rejoiced, for it meant that a Bayern vs ManU Semi was still on the cards

    @ Englanders and Germans

    yesterday, we ALL won

    remember our friend Pierre Littbarski: the most anti-English, anti-German, pro-Roma/Totti poster in the entire wide world ???

    well , I have news for you; Pierre has been seen somewhere in Bangkok selling his stash of Totti shirts for 5 Bath each and is not expected back in Europe in the near future

    wahre Geschichte <Ale>

    lol!

    I dont even think his Totti shirts would even fetch that much, very funny Otto.

    Shame about the rest of the post, Otto yesterday was the start of something special, as Bayern will soon find this out if they beat Milan. we were mesmerising last night, playing the way we did last night we would have hammered any team.

    Rooney now has more CL knockout goals than Klose and Podolski combined. Podolski wishes he could trap the ball in a CL knock out round, never mind score 2 goals.

    Ps Otto you should seriously get a job in PR, if you dont already work in the field.
    Tweesus
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    Post by Tweesus Wed Apr 11, 2007 1:52 pm

    Laugh love it otto. I can't imagine you as a rower to be honest, I think its porkies.

    Man Utd DOMINATE Roma - they had FIFTEEN shots on target - so it could well have ended 15-0 if it wasn't for Doni
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    Post by Isco Benny Wed Apr 11, 2007 1:56 pm

    I feel sorry for Otto:

    boasting for the last month about his wedding night tonight, only for his wife-to-be to have been ravished by a young well hung English farmhand stud the night before.

    How is tonight going to possibly compare?


    Last edited by on Wed Apr 11, 2007 1:57 pm; edited 1 time in total
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    Post by Brian2468 Wed Apr 11, 2007 1:56 pm

    I wonder if in our lifetime will we ever see Bayern master a game like United did in the quarter-finals and score as many....
    It is always a good idea also to at least wait until some of your homeland players start scoring Otto before bellowing off like a water baffalo in a mud slue after being out in the sun to long...Ale
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    Post by Parks lives Wed Apr 11, 2007 2:06 pm

    I Am Weasel wrote:I feel sorry for Otto:

    boasting for the last month about his wedding night tonight, only for his wife-to-be to have been ravished by a young well hung English farmhand stud the night before.

    How is tonight going to possibly compare?

    Laughing

    I saw something similar from an Arsenal fan last night.

    'Watching United today was like watching your woman with another man.

    They were where we should have been, doing exactly what we should have been doing, and deep inside you know they were doing it better than we ever have.
    '

    Very Happy
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    Post by Isco Benny Wed Apr 11, 2007 2:11 pm

    Parks lives wrote:
    I Am Weasel wrote:I feel sorry for Otto:

    boasting for the last month about his wedding night tonight, only for his wife-to-be to have been ravished by a young well hung English farmhand stud the night before.

    How is tonight going to possibly compare?

    Laughing

    I saw something similar from an Arsenal fan last night.

    'Watching United today was like watching your woman with another man.

    They were where we should have been, doing exactly what we should have been doing, and deep inside you know they were doing it better than we ever have.
    '

    Very Happy

    Ha ha ha.

    There's a Swiss Toni in all of us

    ManU won on paper, but were raped on the pitch _38785789_toni_bbc300
    Ä
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    Post by Ä Wed Apr 11, 2007 2:11 pm

    you are quite right

    we should not get too excited about Bayern vs ManU before the Munich giants have indeed disposed of the Italians

    we have a German saying

    " don't eat the sausage before it is fried"

    Smile

    the ManU score against AS looks good on their CV

    let's face it though, after Lyon beat Bremen 10:0 on aggregate , did they go on to win the CL ???

    the truth is, Bayern tonight should NOT strive to create fireworks; this is merely about qualifying

    then, the 7:1 win will actually work in our favour

    a) Rooney and Co will now start believing their own hype

    b) they have emptied their chamber ; no more goals left

    c) to beat THE in-form team in Europe will only increase Bavarian prestige and puff Ulli Hoeness' chest; with any luck he will either explode or float away to football heaven
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    Post by Axeslammer Wed Apr 11, 2007 2:12 pm

    Parks lives wrote:
    I Am Weasel wrote:I feel sorry for Otto:

    boasting for the last month about his wedding night tonight, only for his wife-to-be to have been ravished by a young well hung English farmhand stud the night before.

    How is tonight going to possibly compare?

    Laughing

    I saw something similar from an Arsenal fan last night.

    'Watching United today was like watching your woman with another man.

    They were where we should have been, doing exactly what we should have been doing, and deep inside you know they were doing it better than we ever have.
    '

    Very Happy

    Today is gonna be worse for him : Liverpool should easily score *more* than 7 against PSV.

    Imagine the EPL hyping after that Yikes

    I think I won't return to these boards for a month or so Wink
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    Post by S4P Wed Apr 11, 2007 2:17 pm

    Still waiting for that 1st German goal in the quarter-finals.

    How many goals has Podolski scored in the knockout rounds so far?
    Ä
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    Post by Ä Wed Apr 11, 2007 2:18 pm

    @axe

    don't worry

    Bayern will destroy English illusions

    first by humbling ManU

    then by humiliating either Liverpool or Chelsea

    and you, being Dutch, will always take the credit because van Bommel and Makaay were on the pitch

    a German-Dutch win-win situation
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    Post by Isco Benny Wed Apr 11, 2007 2:20 pm

    Otto der Schweinehund wrote:@axe

    don't worry

    Bayern will destroy English illusions

    first by humbling ManU

    then by humiliating either Liverpool or Chelsea

    and you, being Dutch, will always take the credit because van Bommel and Makaay were on the pitch

    a German-Dutch win-win situation

    What about vDS in United's goal, or Kuyt for Liverpool?

    No German-Dutch schadenfreund please, remember what your troops boots did to their beloved tulips
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    Post by Ä Wed Apr 11, 2007 2:42 pm

    @ bernd

    Bayern have TWO Dutchies

    they are now the Dutchies' favourite club left in the CL
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    Post by Machiavel Wed Apr 11, 2007 3:17 pm

    Otto der Schweinehund wrote:@ bernd

    Bayern have TWO Dutchies

    they are now the Dutchies' favourite club left in the CL

    I don't think so.
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    Post by Red n' Black Wed Apr 11, 2007 3:17 pm

    Otto der Schweinehund wrote: to beat THE in-form team in Europe will only increase Bavarian prestige and puff Ulli Hoeness' chest; with any luck he will either explode or float away to football heaven

    lol!
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    Post by Axeslammer Wed Apr 11, 2007 3:21 pm

    Otto der Schweinehund wrote:@ bernd

    Bayern have TWO Dutchies

    they are now the Dutchies' favourite club left in the CL

    Robben & Boulahrouz ?

    Kuyt counts for three...

    But I have to admit I have strange obsession with Bayern, mostly because if Der Chef leads them to a CL victory he can pull a long nose at both Marco van Basten (together with Das Phantom) as well as Frank Rijkaard Smile

    Everyone knows Bayern perform only because of the two Dutchmen even German LEGEND Gunther Netzer said so :
    Van Bommel is a second Kahn
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    Post by Ä Wed Apr 11, 2007 3:25 pm

    well, Bayern did perfectly well in Milan WITHOUT van Bommel

    Ottl was a brilliant stand-in

    Makaay was shite though

    still, I quite like van Bommel

    ---------------------------

    are you Dutchies mad about Boulah's treatment by Mourinho ??

    the HSV star simply does not get a fair shot
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    Post by S4P Wed Apr 11, 2007 3:28 pm

    Being injured for 2 months hasn't helped him otto Razz
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    Post by Axeslammer Wed Apr 11, 2007 3:41 pm

    Otto der Schweinehund wrote:

    are you Dutchies mad about Boulah's treatment by Mourinho ??

    the HSV star simply does not get a fair shot

    Not me, I wouldn't call Boulah a star anyway.

    I did have problems with Robben's (that boy *is* a star) playtime....but that also was because of injuries (or so I'm told).
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    Post by Dwarf Wed Apr 11, 2007 3:50 pm

    Otto would give Goebbels a run for his money when it comes to positive spin.
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    Post by Machiavel Wed Apr 11, 2007 3:56 pm

    Controversy wrote:Otto would give Goebbels a run for his money when it comes to positive spin.

    Goebbels was the master of the so-called Big Lie technique ...
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    Post by Axeslammer Wed Apr 11, 2007 4:31 pm

    Otto der Schweinehund wrote:@ bernd

    Bayern have TWO Dutchies

    they are now the Dutchies' favourite club left in the CL

    The DUTCH have at least one player in every team still in the competition....how many countries can make that claim ?

    (as things are going the english have a good shout, but not yet Wink)

    Bayern => Van Bommel & Makaay
    Milan => Seedorf
    PSV => Cocu & co
    Liverpool => Kuyt & Zenden
    Man U => Van der Sar
    Chelsea => Robben & Boulahrouz
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    Post by Kimbo Fri Jun 08, 2007 1:03 am

    otto hat Euch alle lieb wrote:@axe

    don't worry

    Bayern will destroy English illusions

    first by humbling ManU

    then by humiliating either Liverpool or Chelsea


    and you, being Dutch, will always take the credit because van Bommel and Makaay were on the pitch

    a German-Dutch win-win situation

    scratch How are they going to do that in the waffa cup?

    -------------------------------------------

    EDIT: This is an old thread, i've been done. Evil or Very Mad Anyway, waffa cup, ha ha. <Ale>
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    Post by Isco Benny Fri Jun 15, 2007 12:29 pm

    Otto's predictions- Seemingly cannott see the moustaches from the mullets. This ranks alongside the "Lewis Hamilton = the new Jensen Button" prediction.

    They brew premium strength beer in Germany, I put it down to that and that alone: the ramblings of a drunkard... ;-)

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