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Surely its time there was a thread dedicated to this. Always brilliantly observed:
Today:
Biting Their Fingernails
From The Times' report on Spurs' 1-1 draw against Anorthosis in the UEFA Cup:
'Progression to the group stage of the Uefa Cup was not without its heart flutters.'
Spurs fans were probably getting extremely twitchy at just being 6-2 up on aggregate as Anorthosis scored.
JT Un-Masked
Headline From The Daily Express - 'Terry Now Ready To Throw Off The Mask'
Quotes from John Terry relating to the removal of said mask - none.
In fact, quotes from Terry as reported by F365 - "As long as I am wearing my mask in games it is going to full protect me. I just have to be careful."
Fleet Street's desperatation to present Terry as some sort of steely warrior has clearly reached such heights of sycophancy that they're just making stuff up now.
Philosopher Of The Day
"It's always the thing I am fighting against; stars, heroes, icons. What is a star? At night I see them in the skies, but if you kick a leather ball, I don't know if you can call that a star" - Thierry Henry at the launch of his new clothing collection, which incidentally 'draws on an understated palette of tonal greys blacks and browns'.
Clothes? Send The Woman
Kudos to The Times, who clearly spent some time wondering which of their hacks to send to Thierry's fashion event.
Step forward respected columnist Alyson Rudd. Well, she's a bird, she must know about clothes and stuff, eh?
Good to see the paper of record is keeping with the times, if you will.
Kicking Him When He's Down
From a website not a million miles from here:
'Yup, the pressure is beginning to tell on Steve Coppell. 7-1 defeats probably don't help much either.'
Yeah, yeah, we know.
Seeing Double
From the BBC Website's preview of Sunday's Liverpool v Spurs game:
'Gareth BALE, Younes KABOUL and Gareth BALE are Tottenham's leading scorers with three goals each. ?'
Mediawatch particularly enjoyed the rogue question mark at the end of the sentance, as if the Beeb had spotted something wrong, but couldn't quite put their finger on it.
Rumbled Our Kid
Sepp Blatter may seem like a bumbling goon to most people, but he clearly has his thumb more firmly on the pulse than we thought.
He's got footballers pegged anyway, as shown in his interview with Football Focus:
"Workers in Europe can circulate freely but footballers are not workers."
Anyone who has seem Yakubu shuffle around the same ten yard region this season will no doubt agree with Sepp's assessment.
Laboured Link Of The Day
Sky Sports News' Ed Chamberlain thought he'd spice things up this morning by introducing a 'story' about Avram Grant with the quip "Could he or Grant he?"
We here at F365 are very proud to be associated with such witticisms.
Predictable Headlines Of The Day
'Hughes' Big Fat Greek Tragedy' - The Daily Express.
'Greek Tragedy For Rovers' - F365.
'Greek Tragedy For Rovers At Ewood' - The Press Association.
'Fingers Entwined, The Last Tender Moments Of Diana And Dodi' AND 'Madeleine: I Cry Every Day Says Kate' - The front page of....oh you know exactly where it's from.
The New Diana/Madeleine?
As if to prove they don't hold a grudge, various pieces of nonsense about Dida's flouncing on Wednesday night feature on no less than 13 pages of The Daily Record. Including the front page. Record is probably the only paper in the World wrose than the Sun
Childish Giggle Of The Day
'Anichebe Seals Everton Passage' - The Independent. Well most Toffees fans must have been browning their trousers after they went behind (sorry) to Metalist Kharkiv, so Victor was doing them a favour really.
Shameless Plug Of The Day
Now that the winter months are here, what better way to fight off the cold than with a lovely short-sleeved t-shirt ?
Headline Of The Day
'Bell Rings Owen Doc' - The Sun.
Worst Headline Of The Day
'See Roo In Court' - The Daily Express. When will they ever, ever stop?
Runner-Up
'Victor-Y Is Sweet For Moyes Men' - The Daily Star.
Laboured Headline Of The Day
'Moyes' Top Marks With Metal Work' - The Daily Mirror.
Rumour Of The Day
'Dutch giants Ajax have made Martin Jol their No.1 target to replace their Chelsea bound coach Henk Ten Cate' - The Daily Mirror.
Non-Football Story Of The Day
'Schoolchildren in the US state of Ohio were left bemused after images of nude women were shown in a politician's lecture on the legislative process. State representative Matthew Barrett was giving a computerised presentation at Norwalk High School when the images flashed up on the screen. He said he had no idea where the images came from, adding that he took them down after a few seconds. Mr Barrett was "embarrassed and apologetic", police said' - BBC Website. Mediawatch has tried that excuse before Matthew. It didn't work for us, and it won't work for you.
---------------------------------------------------------
Best football website on the internet
Today:
Biting Their Fingernails
From The Times' report on Spurs' 1-1 draw against Anorthosis in the UEFA Cup:
'Progression to the group stage of the Uefa Cup was not without its heart flutters.'
Spurs fans were probably getting extremely twitchy at just being 6-2 up on aggregate as Anorthosis scored.
JT Un-Masked
Headline From The Daily Express - 'Terry Now Ready To Throw Off The Mask'
Quotes from John Terry relating to the removal of said mask - none.
In fact, quotes from Terry as reported by F365 - "As long as I am wearing my mask in games it is going to full protect me. I just have to be careful."
Fleet Street's desperatation to present Terry as some sort of steely warrior has clearly reached such heights of sycophancy that they're just making stuff up now.
Philosopher Of The Day
"It's always the thing I am fighting against; stars, heroes, icons. What is a star? At night I see them in the skies, but if you kick a leather ball, I don't know if you can call that a star" - Thierry Henry at the launch of his new clothing collection, which incidentally 'draws on an understated palette of tonal greys blacks and browns'.
Clothes? Send The Woman
Kudos to The Times, who clearly spent some time wondering which of their hacks to send to Thierry's fashion event.
Step forward respected columnist Alyson Rudd. Well, she's a bird, she must know about clothes and stuff, eh?
Good to see the paper of record is keeping with the times, if you will.
Kicking Him When He's Down
From a website not a million miles from here:
'Yup, the pressure is beginning to tell on Steve Coppell. 7-1 defeats probably don't help much either.'
Yeah, yeah, we know.
Seeing Double
From the BBC Website's preview of Sunday's Liverpool v Spurs game:
'Gareth BALE, Younes KABOUL and Gareth BALE are Tottenham's leading scorers with three goals each. ?'
Mediawatch particularly enjoyed the rogue question mark at the end of the sentance, as if the Beeb had spotted something wrong, but couldn't quite put their finger on it.
Rumbled Our Kid
Sepp Blatter may seem like a bumbling goon to most people, but he clearly has his thumb more firmly on the pulse than we thought.
He's got footballers pegged anyway, as shown in his interview with Football Focus:
"Workers in Europe can circulate freely but footballers are not workers."
Anyone who has seem Yakubu shuffle around the same ten yard region this season will no doubt agree with Sepp's assessment.
Laboured Link Of The Day
Sky Sports News' Ed Chamberlain thought he'd spice things up this morning by introducing a 'story' about Avram Grant with the quip "Could he or Grant he?"
We here at F365 are very proud to be associated with such witticisms.
Predictable Headlines Of The Day
'Hughes' Big Fat Greek Tragedy' - The Daily Express.
'Greek Tragedy For Rovers' - F365.
'Greek Tragedy For Rovers At Ewood' - The Press Association.
'Fingers Entwined, The Last Tender Moments Of Diana And Dodi' AND 'Madeleine: I Cry Every Day Says Kate' - The front page of....oh you know exactly where it's from.
The New Diana/Madeleine?
As if to prove they don't hold a grudge, various pieces of nonsense about Dida's flouncing on Wednesday night feature on no less than 13 pages of The Daily Record. Including the front page.
Record is probably the only paper in the World wrose than the SunChildish Giggle Of The Day
'Anichebe Seals Everton Passage' - The Independent. Well most Toffees fans must have been browning their trousers after they went behind (sorry) to Metalist Kharkiv, so Victor was doing them a favour really.
Shameless Plug Of The Day
Now that the winter months are here, what better way to fight off the cold than with a lovely short-sleeved t-shirt ?
Headline Of The Day
'Bell Rings Owen Doc' - The Sun.
Worst Headline Of The Day
'See Roo In Court' - The Daily Express. When will they ever, ever stop?
Runner-Up
'Victor-Y Is Sweet For Moyes Men' - The Daily Star.
Laboured Headline Of The Day
'Moyes' Top Marks With Metal Work' - The Daily Mirror.
Rumour Of The Day
'Dutch giants Ajax have made Martin Jol their No.1 target to replace their Chelsea bound coach Henk Ten Cate' - The Daily Mirror.
Non-Football Story Of The Day
'Schoolchildren in the US state of Ohio were left bemused after images of nude women were shown in a politician's lecture on the legislative process. State representative Matthew Barrett was giving a computerised presentation at Norwalk High School when the images flashed up on the screen. He said he had no idea where the images came from, adding that he took them down after a few seconds. Mr Barrett was "embarrassed and apologetic", police said' - BBC Website. Mediawatch has tried that excuse before Matthew. It didn't work for us, and it won't work for you.
---------------------------------------------------------
Best football website on the internet
