by christmasborocooper Wed Apr 25, 2007 12:26 pm
What is the most ridiculous thing you have heard a football commentator say recently? "Ooh that nasty Mr Puyol was trying to hurt Sheva there," or, "the way the blue Chelsea shirt compliments hunky Frank Lampard's eyes leaves me weak at the knees"?
Fair enough, those are obviously made up, but at the end of last night's game, just after Wayne Rooney's winner, the commentator on Italian state television's RAI coverage of the Manchester United AC Milan cracker said: "Attention! Some of the Manchester United fans are teasing Gattuso on the AC Milan bench!" - somehow managing to come across bitter, camp and whiny at the same time.
It was possibly the highlight of the season, hearing an experienced broadcaster sounding as agitated as a schoolgirl in the canteen as she sees her best friend losing her place in the lunch queue.
The late-night highlights then showed footage of the fracas, which started with some pesky Manchester United fans ribbing the stubby midfielder as he stood in the raised dugout. The Milan number 8 then gave them some lip and it escalated into shouting, before Gattuso tried to climb the wall and get in with the supporters to give them a dry slap. Luckily some team mates and club staff pulled him back. Then to really calm it down, grinning legend Cafu put himself between the naughty Mancs and the enraged Italian. Lovely move by Cafu - he showed great positioning and knowhow to take the steam out of the situation, just like the good old days.
Returning to the game itself, the people covering the game for RAI were less biased than in ppevious years. They absolutely loved Paul Scholes, especially his magical scoop for Rooney's first goal. Then again, the Italians have always had a soft spot for the explosive ginger fella. He got maximum respect from the men on the mics.
There also some kind words for the Geordie Pirlo, aka Michael Carrick. His two strikes versus Roma in the quarter-final had clearly left a scar on Italian football followers, as every time he had the ball outside the Milan area the shouts of "Don't let him shoot!" from the commentary box burst out of the TV speakers. Quite ironic considering that despite his steady improvement and tidy performances, you don't see many Premiership fans bricking it when the former West Ham and Spurs schemer gets near their team's 18-yard box, do you?
Naturally, from a 'home interest' point of view, the man of the match for RAI was assigned to Kaka. His double was indeed spectacular, and he was lauded for both goals. When he was asked in the post-match interview where he had disappeared to for the last 20 minutes of the game, he was slightly taken aback, somehow refrained from saying "up yours" to his interviewers and explained that the whole Milan team had struggled in the latter part of the tie, due to tiredness and United's pressure.
Rossoneri striker Alberto Gilardino was rightly hammered for his tepid showing by the pundits, because he was rubbish, although they were more diplomatic about their phrasing in the studio. It isn't his natural game playing as a lone striker, and the ball was bouncing off him back into midfield every 15 seconds, or so it seemed. His uncanny impression of football trampoline was inevitable though, given that his gifts don't include holding up possession at all.
On the other hand Rooney was given a glowing report by the experts' panel, even if his winning goal ruined things for the commentator, who had spent the last five minutes of the game telling viewers how Alessandro Nesta was now free from all injuries and one of the best defenders in the world again. Well, yes, he did okay, but he conceded three goals and Wazza left him behind for his stoppage-time decider.
The return leg on May 2 could be a modern classic - for the tactics and approach of both sides, Ronaldo versus Kaka part two, a potential late goal chase by United if Milan squeeze one in with 15 minutes to go, and, hopefully, if some of the home fans shout something unkind at Alan Smith on the bench, some aggro. What will Sky Sports make of it if a dastardly Milanese says spiteful things to Smudger?
Sheridan Bird