Klose joins Bayern and scores immediately

haha, the guy is playing on different planet to Makaay

take THAT, you Klose haters

picture 8

http://www.sport1.de/de/multimedia/Dia_Show_1395593.html

brilliant

Klose says that he came to Bayern to win TITLES

hint, hint, Herr Schaaf

good to see that the boy is ambitious and not happy to merely entertain



Hoeness then said that they had no further plans for Santa Cruz

with Klose, Toni, Poldi and SChlaudraff they had more than enough fire power

Bayern are now awaiting an offer from another club

this means that Schlaudraff should get a few games



think about it for a second though

Santa Cruz has just scored THREE goals for Paraguay against Columbia

gives you some idea of the strength of the players still at Bayern

Santa was simply not good enough

maybe Arsenal, Bremen or ManU could be interested in the hattrick wonder

I would certainly take the boy over Torres ANY DAY

if Nutters and tweeds think C.Ronaldo is good looking, anglophile will tell you that Santa ain't worse one bit, gell

He is not good enough for Bremen, or rather too injury prone. We are known for our magical ability to turn mediocre players into excellent ones, e.g. Klose, but even Werder can't transform a semi-disabled footballer with 5-10 matches a season into a top player.

P.S.: It's not like players like Santa Cruz are not good enough for Bayern, they just can't fulfill their true potential there, like 90% of players, especially young ones.

P.P.S.: I'll be laughing my arse off for sure once Klose has his first crisis, and will get slaughtered by the unforgiving Munich media and fans. The latter are already pissed off about losing Makaay.

TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRR



the MONSTER scores in his first practice match

and then

travels to HK

jet-legged, in extreme humidity, extreme heat (30 degrees), tired + in a new team

TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRR

again



the MONSTER immediately scores again

against the mighty Brazilians of Sao Paulo



the best striker in the world is unstoppable , unless Diego is playing in midfield

I have been telling you about his problems at Werder for ages

chrissi and blut would have none of it; they were too busy raving about the next Brazilian genius to see the German Oak Forest for Brazilian Mahogony trees

as a result Klose dropped in their affections even behind Ulli Hoeness and Dummenigge



he was finally treated worse than Tony Bliar in England when Werder fans called him a Bayern pig



in the end Klose was FED UP with being misunderstood on the pitch (by Diego), by the media (who sided with Diego), by the fans (who sided with Diego) and by Schaaf (who sided with Diego)

the most loyal player Germany has ever produced was shown ZERO loyalty and then realised that he would NEVER win anything at Werder for as long as Schaaf was the manager

so he packed his bags , Borowski "secretly" gave him his flute (lest chrissi and blut see him) and started walking to Barcelona in the hope of finding a place where they would play to his tune, where his music could mend the hearts of lovers of the finer things , or maybe just innocent , hungry, flair starved children

when he arrived in Munich he was tired and hungry and needed a rest

there, somewhere behind an Alpine meadow was, what looked like a sausage factory

Miro had no money and no clothes (Werder fans had torn them off his body when he ran away)

timidly, Klose approached the sausage factory when suddenly 20 vicious German Shepards stormed towards him baring nothing but their vicious German teeth and making Miro tremble with fear

for they had not been fed by their owner and had to eat themselves to survive

ashen faced and realising he certain death was upon him, Miro took Boro's flute and played what he thought would be the last tune he would ever play

"Einigkeit und Recht und Freiheit" , for he wanted to feel one last time what had been missing in Bremen ( unity, justice and freedom)

the dogs knew about Unity but felt that Justice and Freedom were missing in their lives, so they started to cry bitterly, covered their vicious German teeth and begged Miro for forgiveness, for they were no longer hungry when Justice was done

they asked Miro: " please take us where you are coming from"

Klose: " I come from Werder , where it's raining a lot and Justice is hiding behind a Brazilian cloud. You are starved Bavarian guard dogs but you still have a job, you have your dignity, in Bremen they would chain you to a stadium and employ Brazilian dogs to do the real work"

the leader of the vicious German Shepards , now furious: " that is worse than guarding a Bavarian sausage factory, we would rather die than give up our German honour"

suddenly, a window opened on the top floor of the Nuernberger Sausage Factory and Ulli Hoeness, tears in his eyes, wimpered : " who was playing that beautiful flute music, the "Einigkeit und Recht und Freiheit" , I recognised it immediately; many years ago, the founding father of my sausage factory had told me that one day a naked flutist would come, and only he could save the future of "die Wurst", and he would play a song of unity, justice and freedom;

come hither, you saviour, for we were on the path of arrogance and ostentation and need a seeker of righteousness; a man with flair, a man who adds spice to my "Wuerste" "

Ulli offered Miro a Lederhose so that he would not freeze and gave the dogs as many sausages as they needed, for he wanted to treat them better from now on; he wanted to become a good Wurstfrabikant

Miro then added the spice that Ulli's sausages were lacking so far, and they became the most popular Wuerste in the entire world

in Bremen, meanwhile, they still had their Gruenkohl, but no more Pinkel, and they saw what they had done

That's quite a story Otto!

That is class.

It's a very funny story, albeit full of blatant lies and fabrications, but that's otto for you.

otto, I'm really looking forward to next season, and all the humble pies you'll going to eat as always. Pedantic as we Germans are, we'll make sure to remind you of your gloating on every occasion. The English are more forgiving.

blutgraetsche wrote:It's a story full of blatant lies and fabrications, but that's otto for you.

otto, I'm really looking forward to next season, and all the humble pies you'll going to eat as always. Pedantic as we Germans are, we'll make sure to remind you of your gloating on every occasion. The English are more forgiving.

@blut

where are the blatant lies

you want to tell me Miro was given his flute by Frings and not Boro

or that he went to Munich fully clothed wearing an Ostfriesennerz , just to eat the biggest number of sausages EVER

or maybe you think that Bremen still eat Gruenkohl with Pinkel, only this particular brand of sausage is better , coming straight from Brazil

a kind of SUPER-Pinkel , looking slightly yellow

incidentally, blut

I have been a MASSIVE Klose fan since he scored 11 goals in his first 13 internationals

I stuck by the lad when he struggled at chaos-relegation-bound-club Kaiserslautern and had vicious debates with my English mates over who was better: Klose or Owen

when the boy was still at Kaiserslautern I told everybody that he was better than Owen and EVERY Englander laughed straight in my face, thinking I was a loony

who is laughing now

for somebody who is supposed to be a bandwagon jumping glory hunter, I took a lot of flak for standing up for the MONSTER

this is what we call LOYALTY

they say, it takes one to know one

loyal me sees loyal Klose

eine wirklich wahre Geschichte, die sich genau so abgespielt hat

Bla bla bla...

Hahaha.....a picture says more than a thousand words chrissi, hits the nail on the head.

otto, you are lying and you know it, no need to explain it again for the 2497128947812747124th time. But it's very interesting to see how you have become such a Bayern fanatic now, knowing how you criticised them umpteen times for their way to treat German talent in the past, something that has not exactly changed to the better now, with all those stars signed by Hoeness, and young German talent like Podolski and Schlaudraff doomed to rot on the bench.

Hypocrisy at its best.

P.S.: Can't wait for the upcoming matches against Bayern.

@blut

I promise you there are no lies in the above story

everything has been researched meticulously, I checked my sources and looked at all the written documentation repeatedly (the footnotes were watertight as well)

then I talked to eyewitnesses

and finally examined the TV footage

the result:

it really WAS Borowski who gave Klose the flute

NOT Frings

why would I lie

--------------------

the "German talents rotting on the Bavarian bench" is a REAL problem

nothing has changed

Schlaudraff, Poldi and Jansen should have gone to Bremen

I still believe that

but obviously, they want to WIN SOMETHING

just like Klose

they may be deluded , but they are ambitious


now let's hope that Santa Cruz finds a new club and that van Bommel decides to leave Bayern next year at the latest to let Ottl play again

@chrissi

you Werder fans called Klose a Bayern-Sau because he was misunderstood

now YOU suggest I am Lying-Ali

I am not sure what is worse, but feel proud to bear that same brunt that already made Miro a martyr for football fans worldwide

Ruud > Klose & Monster n the rest of them.

otto hat Euch alle lieb wrote:
@chrissi

you Werder fans called Klose a Bayern-Sau because he was misunderstood

now YOU suggest I am Lying-Ali

I am not sure what is worse, but feel proud to bear that same brunt that already made Miro a martyr for football fans worldwide

I thought more about "Comical Ali" (or "Comical Otto" in your case), but I can see were you´re coming from...

All time CL goalscorers :

rank, country, #goals, #matches, debut year in CL, clubs

1 Spain Raúl 56 108 1995 Real Madrid
2 Netherlands Ruud van Nistelrooy 49 58 1994 PSV Eindhoven, Manchester United, Real Madrid
3 Ukraine Andriy Shevchenko 46 89 1998 Dynamo Kyiv, A.C. Milan, Chelsea
4 France Thierry Henry 42 85 1998 AS Monaco, Arsenal
5 Italy Filippo Inzaghi 41 ? 1998 Parma F.C., Juventus, A.C. Milan
6 Italy Alessandro Del Piero 36 79 1996 Juventus
7 Spain Fernando Morientes 34 78+ 1997 Real Madrid, AS Monaco, Liverpool, Valencia
8= France David Trézéguet 29 ? 1998 AS Monaco, Juventus
8= Netherlands Patrick Kluivert 29 ? 1994 Barcelona, Ajax Amsterdam, PSV Eindhoven
10 Netherlands Roy Makaay 27 ? 2000 Deportivo, Bayern München


Please tell me where in this list I can find this so called best striker in the world ?

....or any other product of the "never ending conveyor belt of German talent" ?

Danke Gott im Himmel das es Handbal gibt

And a Bayern v. Real Madrid will be the "mother of all football matches"

@axel

what do all the top CL goal-scorers have in common:?:

yep, that's true

they played for the most successful CL clubs of their day

a team like SChalke is too poor and focused on the Bundesliga to challenge for CL glory YEAR AFTER YEAR AFTER YEAR AFTER YEAR....

ie, Kuranyi has ZERO chance of getting onto those lists

Germans, however, are not the obvious targets for the big names like Milan, Juve, Real...

we have discussed the reasons

Nederlanders, however , ARE

it's just like English drivers always being favoured for top F1 cockpits

Coulthard, Button and Hill were bog-standard-average

yet two of them were challenging for the World Championship

now Hamilton is, whereas Rosberg, Kubica, Heidfeld, Sutil and Vettel do not have the material

thanks for putting up the list, axel

for, once again, it proves how Nederlanders are getting preferential treatment

otto hat Euch alle lieb wrote:@axel

what do all the top CL goal-scorers have in common:?:

yep, that's true

they played for the most successful CL clubs of their day

That's because those clubs buy the *best* players.

This must mean that Klose isn't among the best players (it's obvious that he's a money-grabbing-whore, so he can't have stayed for loyalty reasons).

QED

We'll see how the MONSTER does against a renovated Barça defence on the 15th of August. I think he will get sent off for diving again

top clubs do NOT buy the BEST players

they buy players from their own country or league + preferably, Argies, Brazilians, Dutchies and Frenchies

MANY of whom do not deserve the honour or are not nearly ready yet

it's potshot strategy that will always make Dutchies look good

for every choker like de Jong , van der Meide, van Bockwurst, Kuyt, invalids like Robben or van Persie, there is a Ruud, or a Makaay (at his peak) , or a Kluivert ( at his peak)

wow , amazing

and now, blut and chrissi, dream of HUNTELAAR succeeding Klose, but fear, Werder cannot afford him



it's comical and tragic at the same time

read bluts and chrissis posts, any mention of getting a Brazilian and they think it's Christmas and their Birthday rolled into one

they would react the same with Dutchie, or Argies or Frenchies

-----------------

meanwhile, the German problem is that MANY of OUR top-strikers have little interest in moving abroad to the CL big boys

Klose had offers from Juve and Barca and said : NO

Gomez was worth 25 million Euro to Juve: and said NO

Poldi was linked with Barca: no interest for now

Kiessling was wanted by Arsenal: preferred Bayer

U-18 striker Fischer has half of Europe chasing him: wants to stay at Stuttgart

and so it continues

whereas the Dutchies leave immediately, for TOP MONEY and are therefore not sitting on the bench either

-----------------------

hast Du es nun begriffen, Axel, oder bist Du immer noch bockig

You write so much nonsense about us it's not even funny. Where are the talented GERMAN alternatives to Klose who Werder could REALISTICALLY sign?

Stop this bullshit otto, it's beyond ridiculous. A few days ago, we had a thread about which player we'd want our club to sign, and both chrissi and I said Mario Gomez. No Ronaldinho, no Kaka or other "big name" player, but a German youngster from the Suttgart youth, the same guy Juve offered 25m EUR for just recently, without the slightest chance to get him. How the f@ck do you expect us to sign him?

It really takes the cake for you to accuse us of being biased towards German players, and hype other nationalities instead. What a pile of garbage really, and absolutely uncalled for by a hypocritical glory hunter like yourself.

otto hat Euch alle lieb wrote:

for every choker like de Jong , van der Meide, van Bockwurst, Kuyt, invalids like Robben or van Persie, there is a Ruud, or a Makaay (at his peak) , or a Kluivert ( at his peak)

wow , amazing

It is indeed *amazing* that we have so much talent : Makaay, Kluivert & Van Nistlerooy in the all time top 10 when at the same time we still have Kuyt, Robben and Van Persie

At the same time the only German that was good enough to be transfered to a big club has failed miserably (Ballack).

I can understand your jealousy lobOTTOmy, but real men hide that : we're not supposed to be crying in public all the time like you're doing.

<me hands over an orange handkerchief>

otto hat Euch alle lieb wrote:
meanwhile, the German problem is that MANY of OUR top-strikers have little interest in moving abroad to the CL big boys

Klose had offers from Juve and Barca and said : NO

Gomez was worth 25 million Euro to Juve: and said NO

Poldi was linked with Barca: no interest for now

Kiessling was wanted by Arsenal: preferred Bayer

Lol, you don't *have* any top strikers.

Klose the money grabbing whore would have jumped at a chance to join a real big club instead of provincial Bayern : there was simply no interest.

HE ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH !

Get that through your thick head !

Look at what is paid for top strikers nowadays......look at what Klose cost.

Any big club that wanted him would have paid that out of petty cash !

They simply didn't want him, BECAUSE HE ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH.

Verstehen Sie es jetzt endlich meiner lieber Otto ?

Kiessling and Poldi are both worse than de Jong (who is rubbish as any Dutchie will tell you).

The 25 million of Gomez is another one of your blatant lies.

If your young talents are so good why aren't you in the U21 EC end round, you failed last year and this year...

You've also got no striker in the all time top 10.

These are FACTS, yet I don't get it and am stubborn ?

Cheers mate, I think it's great they let you get onto the internet from your mental institution

blutgraetsche wrote:You write so much nonsense about us it's not even funny. Where are the talented GERMAN alternatives to Klose who Werder could REALISTICALLY sign?

Stop this bullshit otto, it's beyond ridiculous. A few days ago, we had a thread about which player we'd want our club to sign, and both chrissi and I said Mario Gomez. No Ronaldinho, no Kaka or other "big name" player, but a German youngster from the Suttgart youth, the same guy Juve offered 25m EUR for just recently, without the slightest chance to get him. How the f@ck do you expect us to sign him?

It really takes the cake for you to accuse us of being biased towards German players, and hype other nationalities instead. What a pile of garbage really, and absolutely uncalled for by a hypocritical glory hunter like yourself.

Why to buy a new German talent at Bremen...? You already have that Hellen Hunt, haven't you?

Ricardo Jol wrote:
Why to buy a new German talent at Bremen...? You already have that Hellen Hunt, haven't you?

We have Hunt, we have Schindler, we have Harnik, we have Artmann.

All from our own youth, now playing for the senior team. The latter three joined the senior team this season, and I expect good things from them in future.

Hunt will improve his game next season (he had an excellent season if you consider his age, especially in the first half, and has more international experience than most 20 year olds can dream of). If we play a 4-3-3 (with CA, we'll have the players for it), he can play on the left wing, one of his favourite positions.

Schindler is a great talent (striker), so is Artmann, who reminds me of Borowski, another German player from our own youth.

All of them are behind Mario Gomez in their developement though, who is one of the most complete strikers I know. He has huge potential, is very young still. If he continues like this, he'll be better than Klose ever was.

[quote="blutgraetsche"]

Ricardo Jol wrote:
Why to buy a new German talent at Bremen...? You already have that Hellen Hunt, haven't you?

We have Hellen Hunt, we have Schindler's list, we have harddik, we have Fartmann.

Incredible names!

I know, not as sexy as "Frau Antje", but they do the job.

And Frau Antje doesn't...?

No, Dutch Gouda is flavourised junk these days, just like the watery tomatoes. I blame Rudi Carell. Ever since he left us, the Dutchies think they can get away with anything.

Rudi = protector of Germany

She sells it and that's her job! Don't make the Gouda cheese any sexier or more flavour because it is all about results: Cash cash cash!

@axel und blut

you two , no doubt

mean well

but please explain to me, why we Germans need Dutchies or Brazilians when we have the most beautiful girls in the world on our door-step

take a look at this

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Ar0p_B3Slv0&mode=related&search=

I have not watched any of this on German TV

but believe that little LENA won a model competition

blut will know that LENA is an innocent and pure hearted girl from

CLOPPENBURG

a small town near Bremen

yes, that's true, a provincial German girl beats ANYTHING the Brazilians or Dutchies can throw at us

and please, let's be sensible, and find the next FOOTBALLER

from

CLOPPENBURG

or

JEVER

or

HUDE

or

CUXHAVEN

surely, what our local girls can do, we north German boys can do even better

and stop pretending that Rio or Amsterdam can match our locally raised conveyor belt talents

it's just not believable

just look at LENA