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Parks Lives wrote:'Spose its better than Dixon on there talking about his magic triangles.
I've written Hansen into my novel, though not explicitly. I merely have a Scottish pundit who uses a lot of the same phrases.
'When you talk about -----, you talk about -----' is one of my favourites. 'When you talk about Rooney, you talk about pace, power, determination.' 'When you talk about Sol Campbell, you talk about pace, power and positioning.'
'When you talk about Henry, you talk about pace, movement, finishing.'
And so on.
'There's nothing that scares defenders more than pace.'
For one, this isn't even true. What defenders hate most are players who can dribble with the ball. You can have all the pace in the world but if you are a mediocre dribbler then defences will find it reasonably easy to contain you.
He's also a big fan of 'grit and determination' and 'sloppy defending'. And he almost invariably talks in superlatives, like 'shocking' and his all time favourite 'unbelievable'.
Indeed, given three hours of footage of Hansen I think you'd probably only get a total of maybe 40 different phrases, regardless of the team or game in question.
He's a strange man. Almost always wears black and grey. Like an undertaker. This is particularly sickening when he's sat next to Mark 'my pink shirt doesn't mean I'm gay, but I am' Lawrenson.
Pink shirts should only be worn by men such as Dr Karl Kennedy from Neighbours.
