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Jeff Stelling - 10/10
Still the master. He has the hardest, longest show to present and does it with effortless ease. The ex Radio Tees presenter gives it 100% every show. Funny, informative, passionate and totally at ease in his job, he manages to invest reporting a late goal for Rochdale with as much passion as a late goal for Arsenal and has a million facts at his fingertips. He has effortlessly added the Monday night football to his repertoire this season. Without peer in the TV football media, Saturdays wouldn't be the same without him. 2007 will be no different.
Helen Chamberlain - 8.5
Doesn't actually present any football programmes apart from Soccer AM, which is a bloody disgrace when the likes of Marcus Buckland are in gainful employment. Deserves a promotion. Fun, articulate and loves the game, more high profile gigs must lie ahead in 2007. She is also possibly the only major presenter ever to have done a kit-off Penthouse photo shoot too. Oh momma.
Gabby Logan - 8/10
Actually conveys excitement about the game when given the chance to let her hair down. She's already won several sports broadcaster of the year awards and so must have felt aggrieved to have been pushed out by the human void that is Steve Rider. She was the only ITV presenter to have a good world cup and is now moving to front a BBC sports show and work on 5live. Should do well for years to come as all broadcasters begin to address the gender imbalance, especially in football reporting.
Rob McAffrey - 7.5/10
Has to put up with Kammy slapping his leg a lot on Sundays, but despite the Tommy Cooperish gangliness he improves every year and he has the tough job of doing the midweek Soccer Special thing when there's so few games on that they have two lads watching one screen each. Will be a reliable if never a star performer in 2007.
Celia Hinchcliffe - 7.5/10
She mostly does the women's football internationals and FA Cup final because the BBC seems to think men should do men's football and women do women's football. How liberated. Under exposed as a football presenter, she is now getting to do some Football Focus work and did a roving reporter gig at the World Cup. Seems to have to wait forever to get a big gig because the BBC seems to think boring ex-players are worth our time and money more. They're wrong.
Claire Tomlinson - 7.5/10
Always good to see on a Saturday night and Sunday morning doing Sky's Premiership highlights. Also does the Champions League round up bits. A safe pair of hands and comes with thoroughly well brushed, long hair. Far worse presenters with far less charm - hello Mr Keys - get much more work than she does. Like Hinchcliffe, she deserves a promotion and a chance to prove herself on a bigger stage in 2007 even if I can't get the image of her in bed with Bryan Robson out of my mind.
Adrian Chiles - 7/10
He is probably the BBC's idea of a working class person. 'He's got an accent and a face like a cobblers thumb Clarissa, how wonderfully ethnic'. As a result he gets to do loads of programmes and is thus hugely over-exposed. Yet his MOTD2 was still 10 times better than its parent and he has does have a genuine love of the game. He needs to work less in order to be taken more seriously in football telly but mainstream non sports gigs await him in 2007. Gets points for being the ugliest man on telly.
Gabriel Clarke - 6.5/10
Does the football league stuff for ITV. Used to have lovely longhair and look a bit dishevelled as though he'd slept in the back of a van all night. Has since smartened up a bit and does a tidy job without ever being rivetting.
Matt Smith - 6.5/10
Has a casual, regular bloke type persona. You don't worry that he's going to be a git but you suspect he'll never be that entertaining either. Does 5live in the early mornings so may ditch the ITV work.
Manish Bahsin - 6.5/10
Now well established doing Football Focus, he's branched out into doing the Ashes. While there's nothing wrong with him, he's just a bit bland and boring and has a touch of Blue Peter about him. Even so, it must be depressing for him to see the amount of work and money Lineker picks up for not being as good as him.
Jake Humphrey - 5.5/10
Despite looking like he's only 11 years old, he's done Focus and MOTD and Final Score. Looks like the kind of well scrubbed inoffensive young lad that the BBC usually employ but hasn't done enough yet to suggest he's going to be a radical new force. Will get loads more exposure in 2007 though.
Ray Stubbs - 4.5/10
Has the looks, authority and charm of a man who works in a chip van. He gets half a point more than Lineker for trying harder and being paid much less. The BBC loves safe mediocrity, so more Stubbsy it is then in 2007 on BBC 3 and when everyone else is sick.
Tim Lovejoy - 4.5/10
Given a chance to do some low-profile games this season on Sky but appears to be sh**ting himself in sheer terror the whole time. He's undoubtedly enthusiastic though, so he might improve with experience.......but then again, he might not.
Gary Lineker - 4/10
All the time, money and effort spent on him is a waste because you can't buy or train someone to be interesting or funny. Veers between being annoying and being ineffectual and looks like a Building Society manager who has taken his tie off to be daring. Tiresome and dull - which the BBC think is great, so expect no change in 2007.
Marcus Buckland - 4/10
He's the timid fella on pay per view with George Graham. Seems nice enough but if you never saw him again in 2007, you'd never even realise.
Richard Keys - 4/10
He looks like a badly shaved chimp but is still somehow the long serving (hairy) face of Sky football. He comes over as a brown-noser and he is a dedicated purveyor of the 'best league in the world' Sky propaganda. Therefore, he has no credibility and the feeling that he's just too chummy and complacent pervades every broadcast. His days must be numbered after all these years. Come the new season, Sky badly needs to get in someone exciting and vibrant to break up the old boys club. It's all too comfortable.
Ian Payne - 4/10
Now relegated to Sky Sports News and the occasional midweek lower league matches. Seems too weak a personality for TV and comes over as a bit mousy. Should go back to radio where he was one of 5live's top men.
Jim Rosenthal - 3/10
A scary crow-like half man, half bird creature. He's been around forever although he's now only on ITV4 reporting on obscure UEFA games. Looked alternately terrified and confused throughout his World Cup stint. Just not very good despite years of experience.
John Barnes - 2/10
Incoherent and rubbish at everything on 5. But he get's an extra point for being such a train wreck at the job that he's compulsive viewing and Colin Murray likes laughing at him so he'll be with us for another year.
Garth Crooks - 2/10
He gets two points for having a large table tennis ball for a head and for asking the longest questions in the history of broadcasting. Crooks career took a nose dive when he began to aurally pleasure Sven in interviews. More like a comedy turn these days, we'll probably only see him on international days.
Steve Rider - 1/10
It's like watching a corpse present football without the zombie style brain-eating charm. How he got the job remains a shocking mystery, not least to Gabby Logan. No class, no fun, no enthusiasm all topped off with a jelly mould-style hair cut, he is football presenting musak. His world cup was a bore fest that even Lineker would have found tedious. But incredibly he's set to continue his charmless reign of ITV football in 2007. Shocking, but at least we don't have to pay his wages by law.
Still the master. He has the hardest, longest show to present and does it with effortless ease. The ex Radio Tees presenter gives it 100% every show. Funny, informative, passionate and totally at ease in his job, he manages to invest reporting a late goal for Rochdale with as much passion as a late goal for Arsenal and has a million facts at his fingertips. He has effortlessly added the Monday night football to his repertoire this season. Without peer in the TV football media, Saturdays wouldn't be the same without him. 2007 will be no different.
Helen Chamberlain - 8.5
Doesn't actually present any football programmes apart from Soccer AM, which is a bloody disgrace when the likes of Marcus Buckland are in gainful employment. Deserves a promotion. Fun, articulate and loves the game, more high profile gigs must lie ahead in 2007. She is also possibly the only major presenter ever to have done a kit-off Penthouse photo shoot too. Oh momma.
Gabby Logan - 8/10
Actually conveys excitement about the game when given the chance to let her hair down. She's already won several sports broadcaster of the year awards and so must have felt aggrieved to have been pushed out by the human void that is Steve Rider. She was the only ITV presenter to have a good world cup and is now moving to front a BBC sports show and work on 5live. Should do well for years to come as all broadcasters begin to address the gender imbalance, especially in football reporting.
Rob McAffrey - 7.5/10
Has to put up with Kammy slapping his leg a lot on Sundays, but despite the Tommy Cooperish gangliness he improves every year and he has the tough job of doing the midweek Soccer Special thing when there's so few games on that they have two lads watching one screen each. Will be a reliable if never a star performer in 2007.
Celia Hinchcliffe - 7.5/10
She mostly does the women's football internationals and FA Cup final because the BBC seems to think men should do men's football and women do women's football. How liberated. Under exposed as a football presenter, she is now getting to do some Football Focus work and did a roving reporter gig at the World Cup. Seems to have to wait forever to get a big gig because the BBC seems to think boring ex-players are worth our time and money more. They're wrong.
Claire Tomlinson - 7.5/10
Always good to see on a Saturday night and Sunday morning doing Sky's Premiership highlights. Also does the Champions League round up bits. A safe pair of hands and comes with thoroughly well brushed, long hair. Far worse presenters with far less charm - hello Mr Keys - get much more work than she does. Like Hinchcliffe, she deserves a promotion and a chance to prove herself on a bigger stage in 2007 even if I can't get the image of her in bed with Bryan Robson out of my mind.
Adrian Chiles - 7/10
He is probably the BBC's idea of a working class person. 'He's got an accent and a face like a cobblers thumb Clarissa, how wonderfully ethnic'. As a result he gets to do loads of programmes and is thus hugely over-exposed. Yet his MOTD2 was still 10 times better than its parent and he has does have a genuine love of the game. He needs to work less in order to be taken more seriously in football telly but mainstream non sports gigs await him in 2007. Gets points for being the ugliest man on telly.
Gabriel Clarke - 6.5/10
Does the football league stuff for ITV. Used to have lovely longhair and look a bit dishevelled as though he'd slept in the back of a van all night. Has since smartened up a bit and does a tidy job without ever being rivetting.
Matt Smith - 6.5/10
Has a casual, regular bloke type persona. You don't worry that he's going to be a git but you suspect he'll never be that entertaining either. Does 5live in the early mornings so may ditch the ITV work.
Manish Bahsin - 6.5/10
Now well established doing Football Focus, he's branched out into doing the Ashes. While there's nothing wrong with him, he's just a bit bland and boring and has a touch of Blue Peter about him. Even so, it must be depressing for him to see the amount of work and money Lineker picks up for not being as good as him.
Jake Humphrey - 5.5/10
Despite looking like he's only 11 years old, he's done Focus and MOTD and Final Score. Looks like the kind of well scrubbed inoffensive young lad that the BBC usually employ but hasn't done enough yet to suggest he's going to be a radical new force. Will get loads more exposure in 2007 though.
Ray Stubbs - 4.5/10
Has the looks, authority and charm of a man who works in a chip van. He gets half a point more than Lineker for trying harder and being paid much less. The BBC loves safe mediocrity, so more Stubbsy it is then in 2007 on BBC 3 and when everyone else is sick.
Tim Lovejoy - 4.5/10
Given a chance to do some low-profile games this season on Sky but appears to be sh**ting himself in sheer terror the whole time. He's undoubtedly enthusiastic though, so he might improve with experience.......but then again, he might not.
Gary Lineker - 4/10
All the time, money and effort spent on him is a waste because you can't buy or train someone to be interesting or funny. Veers between being annoying and being ineffectual and looks like a Building Society manager who has taken his tie off to be daring. Tiresome and dull - which the BBC think is great, so expect no change in 2007.
Marcus Buckland - 4/10
He's the timid fella on pay per view with George Graham. Seems nice enough but if you never saw him again in 2007, you'd never even realise.
Richard Keys - 4/10
He looks like a badly shaved chimp but is still somehow the long serving (hairy) face of Sky football. He comes over as a brown-noser and he is a dedicated purveyor of the 'best league in the world' Sky propaganda. Therefore, he has no credibility and the feeling that he's just too chummy and complacent pervades every broadcast. His days must be numbered after all these years. Come the new season, Sky badly needs to get in someone exciting and vibrant to break up the old boys club. It's all too comfortable.
Ian Payne - 4/10
Now relegated to Sky Sports News and the occasional midweek lower league matches. Seems too weak a personality for TV and comes over as a bit mousy. Should go back to radio where he was one of 5live's top men.
Jim Rosenthal - 3/10
A scary crow-like half man, half bird creature. He's been around forever although he's now only on ITV4 reporting on obscure UEFA games. Looked alternately terrified and confused throughout his World Cup stint. Just not very good despite years of experience.
John Barnes - 2/10
Incoherent and rubbish at everything on 5. But he get's an extra point for being such a train wreck at the job that he's compulsive viewing and Colin Murray likes laughing at him so he'll be with us for another year.
Garth Crooks - 2/10
He gets two points for having a large table tennis ball for a head and for asking the longest questions in the history of broadcasting. Crooks career took a nose dive when he began to aurally pleasure Sven in interviews. More like a comedy turn these days, we'll probably only see him on international days.
Steve Rider - 1/10
It's like watching a corpse present football without the zombie style brain-eating charm. How he got the job remains a shocking mystery, not least to Gabby Logan. No class, no fun, no enthusiasm all topped off with a jelly mould-style hair cut, he is football presenting musak. His world cup was a bore fest that even Lineker would have found tedious. But incredibly he's set to continue his charmless reign of ITV football in 2007. Shocking, but at least we don't have to pay his wages by law.
