A FANTASTIC La Liga end of season summary

Obviously there have been quite a few, but I just read Sid Lowe's season summary (thanks to Crazy58 for posting the link in the Barça thread ) and I felt the urge to start a new thread so everyone can read it. Every part of it is absolutely hilarious. From the names of the awards, to the explanation of the winners, to the Quotes of the Year at the end, it's quite brilliant IMHO.

Check it out:
http://blogs.guardian.co.uk/sport/2007/06/27/its_the_sids_2007.html

A few selected parts that had me literally laughing out loud:

Sid Lowe wrote:
Best chant
Celta de Vigo's fans, watching Madrid's roly-poly Italian sub Antonio Cassano puffing his cheeks out as he jogged around behind the goal, launched into a neat rendition of: "Tired already! Cassano's tired already! Tired alreeeady! Cassano's tired already!"

P.S. Does anyone have the actual Spanish words for the Cassano chant? Every Madrid fan would love it as a sig, I'm sure

Sid Lowe wrote::
Best headline
Marca's picture of David Beckham under the headline "spanner" just loses out to AS's "The f@ck of the century" after Raúl Tamudo tore the title from Barça's grasp.

Sid Lowe wrote:
Most shamefully unreported story
Charged with electoral falsification and conspiracy to commit a crime, Madrid secretary Cristina Bermúdez refused to testify or aid the investigation. She alleged that death threats have been made against her and her children in a bid to keep her silent and claims that she has been almost run off the road twice. What should have been front-page news was relegated to a tiny column on page six of Marca and page six of AS, below a story about Raúl brushing his teeth that morning.

Sid Lowe wrote:
Best goal
A marvellous overhead kick against Villarreal prompted Catalan daily Sport to adorn their cover with a huge satellite photo of the earth, swirling with clouds and embossed with a cut-out-and-stick Ronaldinho, arse in the air, legs over his head, gnashers randomly strewn round his mouth like Flakes from a cone, the ball flying from his foot and into the net as he scores what the paper declares, "the most beautiful goal in the world". Which might be pushing it a teensy bit - after all, it was Pascal Cygan marking him - but it was certainly pretty special.

Sid Lowe wrote:
Best celebration
Raul González has given up on that ring-kissing nonsense to do the Big-I-Am, even though there are 31 players who scored more than him,

I also like the explanation (in the Quotes) of why Perez sold us Etoo - he was cleverly placing a ticking time bomb in our dressing room

(too bad the "bomb" was more like a crisp bag bursting, and in the meantime it has brought countless goals )

"The refs are not helping us" - Fabio Capello, week 23.

"I never talk about referees" - Fabio Capello, week 24.

Winner
But the winner, by a nose, is equine soccer sensation Ruttergus Johannes van Nistelrooy. After the final game of the season, one reporter wrote how this "thoroughbred pulled up lame", which was true but is no reason to put him down. In fact, Madrid were grateful that Ruud's injury only happened right at the end of the season when they were within sight of the finishing post and it was truly sad to see him denied a deserved shot at the European Golden Boot. Ruud might not have been much of a show-pony, but he kept Madrid alive while they were rubbish with a stable contribution of goals, despite being saddled with ploughing a lone furrow up front while a bunch of donkeys aimlessly hoofed the ball in his rough direction. He might not have scored against neighbours Atlético in the derby but he did get two against Barça and the two that rescued his side in Zaragoza as he galloped his way to the Pichichi award, equalling Hugo Sanchez's record by scoring in seven successive matches as the season entered the home straight. Directly responsible for more of his team's points than any other player in La Liga. The league ended up a four horse race, and Ruud was the winner.

___________________________________

Could not stop laughing. And laughing some more.....

There are more talented journalists it would appear :

Best match report
Asked for 100 words on Recreativo's crashingly dull 1-0 win over Real Sociedad, Marca's José Luis Hurtado wrote: "Maradona, Di Stéfano, Pelé, Cruyff, Van Basten, Gullit, Zidane, Gento, Puskas, Roberto Baggio, Torpedo Muller, Zico, Bergkamp, Eusebio, Futre, Blokhin, Breitner, Cabrini, Conti, Elkjaer, Laudrup, Garrincha, Gascoigne, Krol, Francescoli, Matthaus, Beto Alonso., Gigi Riva, Rossi, Antognoni, Beckenbauer, Bobby Charlton, George Best, Giggs, Kempes, Boniek, Romario, Bonhof, Liam Brady, Careca, Jarzinho, Cantona, Cafu, Luis Suarez, Kubala, Deyna, Didi, Eder, Donadoni, Redondo, Hagi, Giresse, Haan, Uli Hoeness, Rummenigge, Dalglish, Keegan, Kopa, Tigana, Guardiola, Rivera, Rivelino, Mazzola, Schuster, Simonsen, Falcao, Hugo Sánchez, Ronald Koeman, Pereira, Mágico Gonzalez, Mauro Silva, Maldini, Franco Baresi, Panenka, Bebeto, Overath, Tostao, Waddle and Zola would not have liked this match. Nor did I."

godof86 wrote:Winner
But the winner, by a nose, is equine soccer sensation Ruttergus Johannes van Nistelrooy. After the final game of the season, one reporter wrote how this "thoroughbred pulled up lame", which was true but is no reason to put him down. In fact, Madrid were grateful that Ruud's injury only happened right at the end of the season when they were within sight of the finishing post and it was truly sad to see him denied a deserved shot at the European Golden Boot. Ruud might not have been much of a show-pony, but he kept Madrid alive while they were rubbish with a stable contribution of goals, despite being saddled with ploughing a lone furrow up front while a bunch of donkeys aimlessly hoofed the ball in his rough direction. He might not have scored against neighbours Atlético in the derby but he did get two against Barça and the two that rescued his side in Zaragoza as he galloped his way to the Pichichi award, equalling Hugo Sanchez's record by scoring in seven successive matches as the season entered the home straight. Directly responsible for more of his team's points than any other player in La Liga. The league ended up a four horse race, and Ruud was the winner.

___________________________________

Could not stop laughing. And laughing some more.....

Priceless

Axeslammer wrote:There are more talented journalists it would appear :

Best match report
Asked for 100 words on Recreativo's crashingly dull 1-0 win over Real Sociedad, Marca's José Luis Hurtado wrote: "Maradona, Di Stéfano, Pelé, Cruyff, Van Basten, Gullit, Zidane, Gento, Puskas, Roberto Baggio, Torpedo Muller, Zico, Bergkamp, Eusebio, Futre, Blokhin, Breitner, Cabrini, Conti, Elkjaer, Laudrup, Garrincha, Gascoigne, Krol, Francescoli, Matthaus, Beto Alonso., Gigi Riva, Rossi, Antognoni, Beckenbauer, Bobby Charlton, George Best, Giggs, Kempes, Boniek, Romario, Bonhof, Liam Brady, Careca, Jarzinho, Cantona, Cafu, Luis Suarez, Kubala, Deyna, Didi, Eder, Donadoni, Redondo, Hagi, Giresse, Haan, Uli Hoeness, Rummenigge, Dalglish, Keegan, Kopa, Tigana, Guardiola, Rivera, Rivelino, Mazzola, Schuster, Simonsen, Falcao, Hugo Sánchez, Ronald Koeman, Pereira, Mágico Gonzalez, Mauro Silva, Maldini, Franco Baresi, Panenka, Bebeto, Overath, Tostao, Waddle and Zola would not have liked this match. Nor did I."

Top journalism.