The Worst Signings of the Season, So Far

La Liga Loca has come up with their XI of worst signings in Spain. Very funny read. Shamefully three of eleven belong to us. Anyone else care to give their worst signings for Spain or other leagues?

I'd give honourable mention to Motta (Atletico), Hugo Viana (Osasuna), and all of Levante's signings.

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The Worst Signings of the Season, So Far

Imagine yourself as the pumped up president of a Primera super power with 175 million euros to spend.

You could rummage around for a Ruud, maybe go for a Guiza or go flashy with a Forlan.

Or instead, you could spunk your cash up the wall on a shower of cack, like these clubs did over the summer.

La Liga Loca presents, euro for euro, pound for pound, blunder for blunder, the most injury prone, over hyped and under performing new signing side of the season so far.

Goalkeeper - Oscar Ustari, Getafe, 6 million euros

The new 'El Pato' apparently - but in the flapping, waddling and quacking department. Getafe's most expensive signing may well be out of the door with his webbed feet barely touching the ground, in January, after a serious of calamitous displays that began with two horrendous howlers on his debut against Valencia.

Centre Back - Pepe, Real Madrid, 30 million euros

Real Madrid fans may be clapping and barking like over excited seals at two decent performances against Athletic and Osasuna, but pinhead Pepe is going to have to do a lot more than that to justify his extraordinary fee. At the end of last season, the unknown Porto player was probably worth around a third of what Real forked out for him. One can only assume he learned to sh*t gold over the summer.

Centre Back - Ivan Helguera, Valencia, Free Transfer

Dear Lord. Yes, he was free, but the fact that Valencia are actually paying good money for Helguera to tart about in their back four, gets him into the side. His constant look of fear and confusion would be highly entertaining if he wasn't helping to hammer a nail into the coffin of a once great side, with his calamitous, 'this way to the goal' displays.

Left Back - Royston Drenthe, Real Madrid, 14 million euros

Clearly not a left back, despite Pedja Mijatovic's claims and clearly not going to be a Real Madrid player in January. Another, 'how much! For who!' signing from the Bernabeu basket cases (see Gago, Diarra), Drenthe's only note worthy achievement so far this season, was to drive into a police car at 4 in the morning, because his GPS instructed him to go left.

Right Back - Khalid Boulahrouz, loan

Equally as incompetent at right back, as he is at centre back, Monchi's legendary scouting prowess clearly failed him on this occasion. He merely needed to hold a photo of him up to a group of Chelsea fans to get an inkling of the uselessness of this particular Dutch disaster. Falls into the Helguera category, simply because of the extraordinary wages they must be paying to the Stamford Bridge drop out.

Left Midfield - Arjen Robben, Real Madrid, 36 million euros

One can only imagine that the half-wit doctor who gave the Dutchman the all clear at his medical, must be to sports medicine what Harold Shipman was to geriatric care. Chelsea's bosses must have peed themselves with delight when they got shot of old glass legs. And for money. 258 minutes of league football so far this season and diddly squat to show for it.

Central Midfielder - Manuel Fernandes, 24 million euros

Loathed by Ronald Koeman at Benfica and now loathed by Ronald Koeman at Valencia. Former Ché boss, Quique, wanted Van der Vaart to give a bit of a boost to his midfield, instead he got Fernandes who knew a good wage and a fancy villa when he saw it. Turned his back on a verbal agreement to join Everton and chose the good ship Valencia to park his overpaid arse on.

Central Midfield - Rio Mavuba, Villarreal, 7 million euros

Poor old Rio Mavuba must have peed in Pellegrini's paella to warrant the treatment currently being dished out by the Chilean coach. Arriving from Bordeaux with a reputation as the new Claude Makelele, his 3 substitute appearances in the league so far, suggest he has as much chance as succeeding at the Yellow Submarine as Claude Monet.

Right Midfield - José Antonio Reyes, Atletico Madrid, 12 million euros

Whine, whine, whine, whine, whine, whine. Can I have my money, please? Whine, whine, whine, whine. Having been banished to Highbury, Reyes is slowly working his way back to Sevilla. And doing so in some style. Hated by Arsenal fans for his constant complaining. Hated by Real Madrid fans for moving to Atletico and hated by Atletico fans for moving to Real after signing a deal to move to Atletico and then buying himself out of it.

Striker - Thierry Henry, Barcelona, 24 million euros

After years of pleading and prodding, Barcelona finally bagged their man - the man who was finally going to give Levante the thrashing they deserved. Oh yes. What. Were. They. Thinking?

Striker - Nikola Zigic, Valencia, 22 million euros

The stock of former Racing Santander sensation, Nikola Zigic has fallen so far that even Arizmendi gets a start ahead of the Serbian giant. Insults don't come much worse than that. He has more centimetres than minutes played, so far this season.

Mauro Esposito. Beat that.

Jaime wrote:
Central Midfielder - Manuel Fernandes, 24 million euros

Loathed by Ronald Koeman at Benfica and now loathed by Ronald Koeman at Valencia. Former Ché boss, Quique, wanted Van der Vaart to give a bit of a boost to his midfield, instead he got Fernandes who knew a good wage and a fancy villa when he saw it. Turned his back on a verbal agreement to join Everton and chose the good ship Valencia to park his overpaid arse on.

This is an outrage!

Reyes surely

Centre Back - Pepe, Real Madrid, 30 million euros

Real Madrid fans may be clapping and barking like over excited seals at two decent performances against Athletic and Osasuna, but pinhead Pepe is going to have to do a lot more than that to justify his extraordinary fee. At the end of last season, the unknown Porto player was probably worth around a third of what Real forked out for him. One can only assume he learned to sh*t gold over the summer.
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OUCH

After Pepe's stunning performance this sunday, im sure this guy will change his mind.

What about Koeman himself. He breaks his contract in Holland, meaning compensation has to be paid, gets overpaid starts Helguera, delivers bugger all and gets overpaid. Lynching is too good for the bastard!

i like the fact that nearly every signing from the premiership is on there

i'd forgotten robben existed actually. it's a shame he's sooooo damn injury prone, could be a real great player otherwise. albeit, not a very likeable one.

'Drenthe's only note worthy achievement so far this season, was to drive into a police car at 4 in the morning, because his GPS instructed him to go left.'

Mavuba, Zigic, Drenthe have no chance to prove themselves 'cos they hardly play.
Special mentions should be given to Saviola and Dudek

Zizinho wrote:Mavuba, Zigic, Drenthe have no chance to prove themselves 'cos they hardly play.
Special mentions should be given to Saviola and Dudek

surely the fact they're not playing alone might be why they're on the list. nugent would certainly be on the premiership list precisely because they paid £6m for him and he's barely got on the pitch.

admittedly if you're talking youngsters like drenthe it's can be silly to judge them a waste of money if they haven't played much. like, say, nani - hasn't been too much in the team but he's clearly a long-term buy.

Great post Jaime. Very funny, especially the Royston Drenthe bit. Says a bit about your scouting that of all the talents around at Feyenoord you picked Royston because of a few overhyped performance at the U21 EC. Anyway we don't mind the redistribution of wealth. Thanx for the euros.

2008: De Guzman's year wrote:Great post Jaime. Very funny, especially the Royston Drenthe bit. Says a bit about your scouting that of all the talents around at Feyenoord you picked Royston because of a few overhyped performance at the U21 EC. Anyway we don't mind the redistribution of wealth. Thanx for the euros.

Indeed.

It's been a poor year in England for flops - had hopes on Torres and Santa Cruz but they have proved me wrong. I can only think of Kaboul at Spurs.

Zigic was 22m euros? We would gladly have given them Crouch for that much..

Valencia got fucked over this summer, thats for sure.

Jingle bellack wrote:'Drenthe's only note worthy achievement so far this season, was to drive into a police car at 4 in the morning, because his GPS instructed him to go left.'

Zigic has just scored two goals in Copa del Rey. Remove him from the black list says I

To the dutch people. WHat's the story with Boulahrouz then huh?

All that hype from every single dutchman and he's flopped at not one but two big clubs!

After that outrageous ASSAULT on the red wiz, i heard this was the rock, the next big thing, the best defender since Stam. He's nothing more than a dutch Andy Todd

L r d wrote:To the dutch people. WHat's the story with Boulahrouz then huh?

All that hype from every single dutchman and he's flopped at not one but two big clubs!

After that outrageous ASSAULT on the red wiz, i heard this was the rock, the next big thing, the best defender since Stam. He's nothing more than a dutch Andy Todd

You should start a thread on unforgiven tackles. There will be many bitter memories. Boulah's one can even reach the top

L r d wrote:To the dutch people. WHat's the story with Boulahrouz then huh?

All that hype from every single dutchman and he's flopped at not one but two big clubs!

After that outrageous ASSAULT on the red wiz, i heard this was the rock, the next big thing, the best defender since Stam. He's nothing more than a dutch Andy Todd

Every single Dutchman is bullshit. Tought he would be a good buy for Chelsea, but DD hyped him into heaven (where is he anyway).

He needs to go somewhere where he can play on regular basis because a defender like him needs rhytm and isn't getting the chance to fully integrate into the team.

Let me attempt one for Serie A:

1. Muslera (Lazio) for 2M - Cr@p gk, not a patch on the retired Peruzzi...
2. Scaloni (Lazio) for free - sub standard comes to mind, waste of money
3. Cicinho (Roma) for 9M - too much money for a 3rd choice RB, but he has the talent to prove worthwhile in the future
4. Andrade (Juve) for 10M - Injured, done nothing, too much money spent
5. Tiago (Juve) for 13M - so far, useless... the most expensive backup for Juve
6. Almiron (Juve) for 9M - promised to be their most shrewd signing, but playing second fiddle to youth player Nocerino
7. Emerson (Milan) for 5M - injured, has done nothing so far
8. Dhorasoo (Livorno) for free - Just caused disruption in the locker room, wasted salary
9. Jankovic (Palermo) for 8M - shocking choice here, extremely talented but has not taken the few chances he got... why was he bought if the coach did not believe in him??
10. Tristan (Livorno) for free - done nothing, apart from giving false hope to Tifosi that he may replace the legendary Lucarelli
11. Caracciolo (Sampdoria) for 5M - what a Cr@p buy for someone who has once again proved to be a 4th choice striker

bluenine wrote:Let me attempt one for Serie A:

1. Muslera (Lazio) for 2M - Cr@p gk, not a patch on the retired Peruzzi...
2. Scaloni (Lazio) for free - sub standard comes to mind, waste of money
3. Cicinho (Roma) for 9M - too much money for a 3rd choice RB, but he has the talent to prove worthwhile in the future
4. Andrade (Juve) for 10M - Injured, done nothing, too much money spent
5. Tiago (Juve) for 13M - so far, useless... the most expensive backup for Juve
6. Almiron (Juve) for 9M - promised to be their most shrewd signing, but playing second fiddle to youth player Nocerino
7. Emerson (Milan) for 5M - injured, has done nothing so far
8. Dhorasoo (Livorno) for free - Just caused disruption in the locker room, wasted salary
9. Jankovic (Palermo) for 8M - shocking choice here, extremely talented but has not taken the few chances he got... why was he bought if the coach did not believe in him??
10. Tristan (Livorno) for free - done nothing, apart from giving false hope to Tifosi that he may replace the legendary Lucarelli
11. Caracciolo (Sampdoria) for 5M - what a Cr@p buy for someone who has once again proved to be a 4th choice striker

What is this based on? Got any links for it. Has he even played for Livorno yet? And regarding Tristan didn't he come good last weekend?

Livorno terminated Dhorasoo's contract coz he rfused to play with the reserves to regain fitness... which is a silly attitude when your fitness levels are not upto the mark. The first link I could find on google is:
http://www.goal.com/en/Articolo.aspx?ContenutoId=464910

Tristan has recently scored a goal, but he is clearly not living up to the Lucarelli relacement hype... luckily for Livorno, Tavano is...

EMP wrote:

bluenine wrote:Let me attempt one for Serie A:

1. Muslera (Lazio) for 2M - Cr@p gk, not a patch on the retired Peruzzi...
2. Scaloni (Lazio) for free - sub standard comes to mind, waste of money
3. Cicinho (Roma) for 9M - too much money for a 3rd choice RB, but he has the talent to prove worthwhile in the future
4. Andrade (Juve) for 10M - Injured, done nothing, too much money spent
5. Tiago (Juve) for 13M - so far, useless... the most expensive backup for Juve
6. Almiron (Juve) for 9M - promised to be their most shrewd signing, but playing second fiddle to youth player Nocerino
7. Emerson (Milan) for 5M - injured, has done nothing so far
8. Dhorasoo (Livorno) for free - Just caused disruption in the locker room, wasted salary
9. Jankovic (Palermo) for 8M - shocking choice here, extremely talented but has not taken the few chances he got... why was he bought if the coach did not believe in him??
10. Tristan (Livorno) for free - done nothing, apart from giving false hope to Tifosi that he may replace the legendary Lucarelli
11. Caracciolo (Sampdoria) for 5M - what a Cr@p buy for someone who has once again proved to be a 4th choice striker

What is this based on? Got any links for it. Has he even played for Livorno yet? And regarding Tristan didn't he come good last weekend?

That is a disappointing attitude to put it mildly. Has Dhorasoo officially retired yet?

L r d wrote:To the dutch people. WHat's the story with Boulahrouz then huh?

All that hype from every single dutchman and he's flopped at not one but two big clubs!

Dream on.

He never played for a bigger club than RKC Waalwijk in Holland....

Guess we can sell those stupid foreigners anything because they don't know shite about football anyway

zigic will come good for valencia



fernandes and HELGUERA well said especially helguera.

And you can put 'anything' in your national team to play in the Euro's and the world cups yeah I see , money more important then football?

Dark Savante wrote:And you can put 'anything' in your national team to play in the Euro's and the world cups

I think you know what the view of the Dutchies is on Marco van Basten's selections....

Carlos at Bremen

Torres at Liverpool