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Oh Teddy, Teddy & Lovely Old Men...
This weekend one of the greatest footballers to grace the British game in the last 20 years announced his retirement at the end of this season. Teddy Sheringham. The man who still prompts pundits to say 'well, he never had any pace/the first yard is in the head', as though no one has ever said it before. He's nearly 42 is Teddy, which for an outfield player is very ancient. The mind is willing but the flesh doesn't fancy it anymore. I know how he feels. Welcome to middle-age, Tedster.
A magnificent player, Teddy's career straddles the pre-big money Premiership generation of the 80s and the 24/7 football media of today. He began way back in 1982 in the days before the league was predictable and before money was the be all and end all of everything. He played in that great Millwall side of 1987-88 when they were top of the First Division in March.
Can you imagine Millwall being top of the league going into spring now? No. Different days. He was transferred to Forest and scored the first live on TV goal of the newly formed Premier League before moving on to Spurs for five years. At 31 he got a transfer to Manchester United and was axiomatic in their treble-winning side, often coming off the bench to sew a game up or get an equaliser, just as he did in the Champions League final.
It never looked hard work for Teddy. The game seemed to slow down when he had the ball - as though he operated on a different space/time continuum. He could hold the ball up and wait until the game caught up with him. He had that easy air, that sense of control about his play. He never looked hurried or panicked. He was 27 before he got his first cap and yet looked born to play International football. He had the easy class required. He puts the lie to the notion that has become a default belief for many today, that before English clubs bought in overseas talent, every Englishman was a football Neanderthal, unable to control the ball or do anything other than run around like a lunatic. Teddy had the ability, style and class of any Spaniard or Frenchman playing today.
With over 25 years as a professional footballer it feels like he's had at least three separate careers and in future we may well see others follow his example and play into their late 30s or early 40s, even if they don't start every game, because old blokes are important to a football club. Experience counts big.
Youth is wasted on the young. Ask any auld fella and he'll tell you that he'd not swap his decades of experience to be young and green again, though he wouldn't mind having the energy, staying power and sheer bloody lust of a 17-year-old. If you could be 50 in your mind and 17 in your body, that would be the ideal combo.
Age gives you wisdom. Not intelligence necessarily, but wisdom certainly. You've seen a lot, probably done a lot and by now you know which bits of a lady's front bottom do what, and you can go for more than 90 seconds without blowing your wad. By 40 you should have finally learned that mixing wine, whiskey and beer in one night will make you feel as though you have died and been sh*t out of a dog the following day. You also learn to spot passing fads and trends and see the bigger picture. It's all good stuff man. Getting old rocks hard.
Some people say it makes you more cynical but I'm not so sure about that. I'm far more laidback, easygoing and un-cynical than at any time in my life and I was a wired and angry kid. Others say with age comes conservatism but again, I find the opposite to be true because you know yourself better and you're less concerned with being cool and more concerned with having a good time, you're able to throw caution to the wind and sod the consequences - as long as you can be in bed by midnight of course - and have a nice pot of tea at some point too...and maybe a nap after dinner. Lovely.
Take 70s disco. I love 70s disco. As bad as it is for my image as rock god, when I feel the need to get my groove on only the likes of Chic and Earth, Wind and Fire will do it. However, when I was 18, this was an impossible weakness to admit as a long-haired, rock 'n' roll, Flying V-wielding industrial northern male. Youth encourages absolutism, you must love or hate something and certain things are incompatible: disco and heavy metal were most certainly incompatible. You see, you end up being far more narrow and conservative when you're young.
Clubs need their been-there-done-that experienced players. The balance between the young and the experienced is a crucial one. Too many older players and the side lacks pace, energy and dynamism, too few and a side can lack grit and determination. And if you're a whipper-snapper you are prone to put your foot in your mouth.
In the week that Teddy announced he was off to the great football retirement home to sit in one of those high-backed chairs and get his toe-nails cut every month by a nurse called Gladys, Theo Walcott, an 18-year-old who looks like puberty hasn't finished with him yet, came out with a classic inexperienced comment as quoted in the Guardian,
"It was nice to get a poacher's goal," Walcott said. "My agents have told me I need more of those."
In a few years' time he'll be amazed that he said something as crass as that. The arrogance of youth doesn't take such things into account though, it just prematurely spunks up this sort of stuff. And that's all too often how he plays as well - just big bursts of speed without any consideration as to what he might do next. It can be brilliant but equally it can be pointless.
Tou can't buy experience or short-cut it. A team without it tends to be inconsistent, capable of delivering mesmeric and mundane performances by turns. A few experienced heads in the mix can bring consistency.
There are exceptions though. At Arsenal, Lehmann and Gallas are the two most senior pros and the two biggest whack-jobs at the club, prone to sulk and throw fits like a 15-year-old boy who has been told he can't paint his bedroom walls black. Perhaps Arsenal needs at least a couple more experienced heads in the dressing room to help keep them together under moments of pressure. Perhaps with that element, they would already have the league sewn up; perhaps lack of experience is their main weakness and will be their undoing this year. It'll be interesting to watch.
At Man Utd the blend is much better. Rio is 30 this year, Van der Saar is 74, Scholes (who played a killer game against Fulham this weekend) and Giggs are well into their 30s. Even if they're not used all the time, even if they're not the players they once were week in week out, their 'been there, done that' influence can infuse throughout the club on and off the field, calming down younger talents and keeping panic levels low.
Similarly Chelsea has a seam of over-30s in Carvalho, Belleti, Makalele, Ballack and later this year, Lampard. When the pressure is on, these players can make the difference between maintaining a challenge and blowing it.
But what any of the top three clubs wouldn't give for Teddy in his pomp to be playing for them, holding up the ball, distributing it with ease and spraying balls around with true class, always having time on the ball. And then of course there was the volleying in corners from the edge of the box. All top, top Teddy traits, Richard. Quality.
There hasn't been an Englishman since who can do what Teddy did and only a select few overseas players such as Bergkamp can stand comparison to him in terms of skill, passing and awareness. Klinsmann said he was the most intelligent striker he ever played alongside.
A truly special player, we may never see his like again...and if you want a six-pint discussion, tell me, who is or could be today's version of Teddy? There are very few contenders and certainly none at Millwall.
Oh Teddy Teddy, Teddy Teddy Teddy Sheringham. And he looked like Skeletor as well, which is very, very cool.
Oh Teddy, Teddy & Lovely Old Men...
This weekend one of the greatest footballers to grace the British game in the last 20 years announced his retirement at the end of this season. Teddy Sheringham. The man who still prompts pundits to say 'well, he never had any pace/the first yard is in the head', as though no one has ever said it before. He's nearly 42 is Teddy, which for an outfield player is very ancient. The mind is willing but the flesh doesn't fancy it anymore. I know how he feels. Welcome to middle-age, Tedster.
A magnificent player, Teddy's career straddles the pre-big money Premiership generation of the 80s and the 24/7 football media of today. He began way back in 1982 in the days before the league was predictable and before money was the be all and end all of everything. He played in that great Millwall side of 1987-88 when they were top of the First Division in March.
Can you imagine Millwall being top of the league going into spring now? No. Different days. He was transferred to Forest and scored the first live on TV goal of the newly formed Premier League before moving on to Spurs for five years. At 31 he got a transfer to Manchester United and was axiomatic in their treble-winning side, often coming off the bench to sew a game up or get an equaliser, just as he did in the Champions League final.
It never looked hard work for Teddy. The game seemed to slow down when he had the ball - as though he operated on a different space/time continuum. He could hold the ball up and wait until the game caught up with him. He had that easy air, that sense of control about his play. He never looked hurried or panicked. He was 27 before he got his first cap and yet looked born to play International football. He had the easy class required. He puts the lie to the notion that has become a default belief for many today, that before English clubs bought in overseas talent, every Englishman was a football Neanderthal, unable to control the ball or do anything other than run around like a lunatic. Teddy had the ability, style and class of any Spaniard or Frenchman playing today.
With over 25 years as a professional footballer it feels like he's had at least three separate careers and in future we may well see others follow his example and play into their late 30s or early 40s, even if they don't start every game, because old blokes are important to a football club. Experience counts big.
Youth is wasted on the young. Ask any auld fella and he'll tell you that he'd not swap his decades of experience to be young and green again, though he wouldn't mind having the energy, staying power and sheer bloody lust of a 17-year-old. If you could be 50 in your mind and 17 in your body, that would be the ideal combo.
Age gives you wisdom. Not intelligence necessarily, but wisdom certainly. You've seen a lot, probably done a lot and by now you know which bits of a lady's front bottom do what, and you can go for more than 90 seconds without blowing your wad. By 40 you should have finally learned that mixing wine, whiskey and beer in one night will make you feel as though you have died and been sh*t out of a dog the following day. You also learn to spot passing fads and trends and see the bigger picture. It's all good stuff man. Getting old rocks hard.
Some people say it makes you more cynical but I'm not so sure about that. I'm far more laidback, easygoing and un-cynical than at any time in my life and I was a wired and angry kid. Others say with age comes conservatism but again, I find the opposite to be true because you know yourself better and you're less concerned with being cool and more concerned with having a good time, you're able to throw caution to the wind and sod the consequences - as long as you can be in bed by midnight of course - and have a nice pot of tea at some point too...and maybe a nap after dinner. Lovely.
Take 70s disco. I love 70s disco. As bad as it is for my image as rock god, when I feel the need to get my groove on only the likes of Chic and Earth, Wind and Fire will do it. However, when I was 18, this was an impossible weakness to admit as a long-haired, rock 'n' roll, Flying V-wielding industrial northern male. Youth encourages absolutism, you must love or hate something and certain things are incompatible: disco and heavy metal were most certainly incompatible. You see, you end up being far more narrow and conservative when you're young.
Clubs need their been-there-done-that experienced players. The balance between the young and the experienced is a crucial one. Too many older players and the side lacks pace, energy and dynamism, too few and a side can lack grit and determination. And if you're a whipper-snapper you are prone to put your foot in your mouth.
In the week that Teddy announced he was off to the great football retirement home to sit in one of those high-backed chairs and get his toe-nails cut every month by a nurse called Gladys, Theo Walcott, an 18-year-old who looks like puberty hasn't finished with him yet, came out with a classic inexperienced comment as quoted in the Guardian,
"It was nice to get a poacher's goal," Walcott said. "My agents have told me I need more of those."
In a few years' time he'll be amazed that he said something as crass as that. The arrogance of youth doesn't take such things into account though, it just prematurely spunks up this sort of stuff. And that's all too often how he plays as well - just big bursts of speed without any consideration as to what he might do next. It can be brilliant but equally it can be pointless.
Tou can't buy experience or short-cut it. A team without it tends to be inconsistent, capable of delivering mesmeric and mundane performances by turns. A few experienced heads in the mix can bring consistency.
There are exceptions though. At Arsenal, Lehmann and Gallas are the two most senior pros and the two biggest whack-jobs at the club, prone to sulk and throw fits like a 15-year-old boy who has been told he can't paint his bedroom walls black. Perhaps Arsenal needs at least a couple more experienced heads in the dressing room to help keep them together under moments of pressure. Perhaps with that element, they would already have the league sewn up; perhaps lack of experience is their main weakness and will be their undoing this year. It'll be interesting to watch.
At Man Utd the blend is much better. Rio is 30 this year, Van der Saar is 74, Scholes (who played a killer game against Fulham this weekend) and Giggs are well into their 30s. Even if they're not used all the time, even if they're not the players they once were week in week out, their 'been there, done that' influence can infuse throughout the club on and off the field, calming down younger talents and keeping panic levels low.
Similarly Chelsea has a seam of over-30s in Carvalho, Belleti, Makalele, Ballack and later this year, Lampard. When the pressure is on, these players can make the difference between maintaining a challenge and blowing it.
But what any of the top three clubs wouldn't give for Teddy in his pomp to be playing for them, holding up the ball, distributing it with ease and spraying balls around with true class, always having time on the ball. And then of course there was the volleying in corners from the edge of the box. All top, top Teddy traits, Richard. Quality.
There hasn't been an Englishman since who can do what Teddy did and only a select few overseas players such as Bergkamp can stand comparison to him in terms of skill, passing and awareness. Klinsmann said he was the most intelligent striker he ever played alongside.
A truly special player, we may never see his like again...and if you want a six-pint discussion, tell me, who is or could be today's version of Teddy? There are very few contenders and certainly none at Millwall.
Oh Teddy Teddy, Teddy Teddy Teddy Sheringham. And he looked like Skeletor as well, which is very, very cool.
Last edited by Parks lives on Mon Mar 03, 2008 2:02 pm; edited 1 time in total
