Media Watch from football365

Wolf! Wolf!
Says Jose Mourinho:

"The players just approached the wall. I don't think there was any contact with the fans but he booked Shevchenko."

Hmmmmmmm.


The Most Predictable Second Sentence Ever
From the wonderful F365 on Saturday:

'Football banning orders have been slapped on a record number of hooligans.

'Leeds United gained the unenviable title of the club with the most.'


Childish Giggle Of The Day
"I wish we had Andy Johnson. I'd be happy for him to go down like that for me" - Neil Warnock.


When He Buys The Fish Tank They Should Worry
Says Cardiff manager Dave Jones of his club's new chairman:

"Talk of who might be chairman doesn't affect them in any way at all - unless they are not going to be paid."

He hasn't followed Peter Ridsdale's career too closely, then.


Why You Should Always Watch The Game You're Writing About
From The Sun's player ratings of Reading v Arsenal:

'Marcus Hahnemann - Unwise dive at Adebayor to concede penalty which he then brilliantly saved.'


Close The Door Behind You, Becks
Says David Beckham:

"Me carrying on doesn't depend on Capello, but if he says I'm not going to play at Real Madrid it's different."

So it does depend on him, then.


Misleading Headline Of The Day
From the BBC website:

'Alonso Revels In Second Title Win'.

Did any Liverpool fans wake up this morning and think it must have all been a terrible dream?


And While We're On The Subject
During his random stroll around the starting grid pestering people, and following a presentation of something or other to Michael Schumacher by Pele, Martin Blundell spied Kimi Raikonnen lurking over by the pit lane:

"Here's Kimi Raikonnen, obviously not too bothered about the presentation. Kimi, err, you just missed a presentation by Pele?"

"Mmmhmm...I was having a sh*t."

Classic.


Predictable Headlines Of The Day
'Bite Hart Lane' - The Sun.

'Bite Hart Lane' - The Daily Mirror.

'Defoe In A Bite Of Bother' - The Daily Star.

'Hungry Spurs Give Toothless West Ham Plenty To Chew On' - The Daily Telegraph.

'Getting Tasty' - The Daily Mail.

'Diana Inquest Scandal' - The Daily Express.


Number One Or Number Two?
"Hargreaves was of course Manchester United's number one target during the summer, behind Michael Carrick" - Sky Sports News reporter.


Question Of The Day
What do you think Stuart Pearce did to Beenie on Saturday afternoon?


A Little Respect
From the BBC gossip column:

'Arsenal keeper Jens Lehmann has been studying an 18th century German handbook on how to treat others, which includes everything from table etiquette to showing respect to people.'

Stephen Hunt would probably suggest the big German hadn't completely grasped it.


Video Link Of The Day
"If you think about Leeds, the biggest city outside London, they're creaming off all the talent - that's why f***ing Chelsea nicked two of 'em. That's why we're sueing 'em - we'll get £6-7m...we're gonna f**k 'em".

That's what most news sources have reported as the key part of Ken Bates' videoed speech to protesting Leeds fans outside Elland Road.

However, Mediawatch definitely prefers the Leeds chairman's view of his own players:

"Look at the s**t we've got, but we're stuck with 'em till the end of the season.

"So the first thing I gotta hope, is, please God, we'll get to the play-offs. If not, we bloody stay in the Championship and get rid of all the s***."

Don't worry, Ken - Dennis Wise will make everything better.


Headline Of The Day
'Owls To Woo Taylor' - The Daily Mirror.

Worst Headline Of The Day
'Hotshot Paul Runs The Scho' - The Daily Star.

Quote Of The Day
"I definitely will be bringing some of the biggest film stars in the world to Everton. Sylvester Stallone absolutely loves football and I spoke to him about the deal. He has just finished the last Rocky film and will be in England next January or February to promote it so hopefully he'll be able to come up for a game then" - Planet Hollywood founder and new Everton shareholder Robert Earl.

Non-Football Rumour Of The Day
'Smokers will be denied life-saving operations unless they agree to give up. Patients will have to try to kick the habit before they get treatments such as hip and knee replacements. Those who fail could be denied treatment altogether. Hospital managers in Norfolk and Newcastle-under-Lyme, Staffordshire, where Health Service trusts are millions in debt, say smokers are at a greater risk of complications and the policy will help them save money on care' - The Daily Mail.

funn.....y

Can someone post their Winners and Losers column? Makes for intersting reading.

kasnani wrote:Can someone post their Winners and Losers column? Makes for intersting reading.

Winners

Chelski
Once again, Jose suffers as the boy who cried wolf. The Chelski manager's penchant for paranoid delusions has eroded his credibility but his anger at the bookings for Andriy Shevchenko and Michael Ballack was fully warranted.

Naturally, Jose being Jose, he expressed his dissatisfaction in customary 'the world is against us' fashion by citing the inconsistency of referee Mark Clattenberg penalising the Chelski scorers against Pompey for leaving the field of play having overlooked a similar 'offence' by Arsenal's Robin Van Persie at Charlton.

"That's the real problem and I think the referee should explain that," Mourinho complained. "He should explain why Van Persie can do it and why Chelsea players cannot do it."

Presumably the explanation is that Clattenberg was censured by the Premier League's pen-pushers for his common-sense approach last month and warned that a similar oversight would result in a demotion to the Championship. Hence his heavy-handedness at Chelski. Likewise, Dermot Gallagher's dismissal of Sheffield United's Claude Davis at Everton was a strict interpretation of the rulebook made inevitable by his own relegation to the Championship for his lenient treatment of Ben Thatcher.

The real problem is the law itself which is, frankly, utter bollocks. How can it be wrong for footballers to share the delight of scoring a with their own supporters? The notion that this is a mandatory yellow card offence along with the crime of diving is a scandal.


ManYoo
Not that they were required to play well against a side that greeted defeat with meek acquiescence.


Bolton Wanderers
On a pivotal weekend in the Premiership, laden with significance and meaning, do not ignore the message sent out by Bolton. This is a side intent on busting the Big Four by snatching the final Champions League place.

The corollary of Liverpool falling out of the title race is that their realistic domestic ambitions can stretch no further than finishing in the top four. Arsenal only secured the same objective on the final day of last season when, were it not for a heavy-legged stumble in the spring, Bolton, and not Tottenham, would have been their principal rivals.

Rafa Benitez has plenty to worry about, but near the top of his list should be concern that Bolton are now far more formidable opponents than they were then.

Nicolas Anelka, himself a Liverpool reject, has added menace to the attack, and caused shockwaves at Blackburn by selflessly devoting himself to his team's cause. Rovers were the better side and will rue two poorly-struck penalties, but it is Bolton's ability to grind out results which makes them the credible contenders to finish fourth.

Liverpool's results will surely improve sooner rather than later, yet the challenge of catching Sam Allardyce's side, who currently hold a nine-point advantage with a quarter of the season played, should not be underestimated. Whereas last season's collapse was blamed on Bolton's taxing endeavours in the UEFA Cup, the Trotters have no such distractions this term. Liverpool beware.


Arsenal
Read the superlatives elsewhere. The answer to the Arsenal fans' chant of "Have you ever seen Chelski play like this is?" is no, but then neither have Arsenal been seen winning at Bolton or Blackburn recently.

Arsene Wenger, formerly a strict devotee of the 4-4-2, has added ballast to his side by introducing a 4-5-1 formation away from the Emirates that morphs into a fluid and dynamic 4-3-3.

It is unclear whether the formation or player came first, but Tomas Rosicky has become central to Arsenal's plans. Both he and Cesc Fabregas, playing as inside forwards, are tailor-made for a system that reduced Reading to chasing shadows.


Losers

Liverpool and Rafa Benitez
The result at Old Trafford ensures that Liverpool are, by common consent, already out of the title race; the performance suggested they were never in it.

Condemnation of Liverpool's gutless display cannot be exaggerated. Even if the pre-match hope was that hostilities between the two clubs could be quelled, there can be no excuse for the Liverpool team lacking fight. Given the circumstances, it was shocking to behold.

The contrast between the two teams was summed up by the respective efforts of Darren Fletcher and Luis Garcia. The Scot is a limited player who surpassed himself on Sunday. Even if winning 30-70 tackles produced no tangible gains, Fletcher's unquenchable commitment set the tone of the afternoon. Garcia, in contrast, was a disgrace. The over-used condemnation 'he was not fit to wear the shirt' can never have been employed more appropriately. It will be a surprise if he lines up in Liverpool colours again once the January sales are completed.

Success in the Champions League and the FA Cup ensures that Rafa Benitez holds a deep reservoir of support, but faith in the Spaniard is ebbing away. The policy of rotation has been a failure.

Steven Gerrard, wasted, once again, on the right of midfield, refused to speak to the press as he left Old Trafford but his body language spoke volumes.

Lest we forget, the Liverpool skipper said he only stayed at Liverpool "on the basis that I felt we had the right manager in charge in Rafa Benitez." Did Gerrard know then that he wouldn't be given centre stage in Rafa's masterplan? Does he still have "full confidence" in the Spaniard? He appeared so disillusioned on Sunday that it would be reasonable to repeat the same question after replacing 'full' with 'any'.

Although it is too early to speak of a captain versus manager rift breaking out at Anfield, it may only be averted if Benitez takes decisive action and restores Gerrard to the centre regardless of the consequences for Xabi Alonso. Otherwise, the consequences for Benitez may be dire.


Charlton
As spelt out by a draw with Watford, Charlton are facing their first relegation battle since returning to the Premiership at the turn of the millennium. The sole winner currently associated with the club is Alan Curbishley, whose reputation gains without exception on a weekly basis.


Aston Villa
Still unbeaten but slipping. Three successive draws equates to a win and two defeats.


West Ham
Groundhog Day continues into its second month: the Hammers' last goal in the Premiership occurred on September 10.


Martin Jol
The only comical aspect of Jermain Defoe biting Javier Mascherano was Jol's claim that the striker "wanted to show his frustration in a nice, comical way".

Also from 365.....


F365's 'We Love To Love You' XI



Well, you know who we don't like, but who do we think are the true gents of the game? Good players, nice guys, funny names - it's F365's dream team. They'd be a pretty handy side, too...







Goalkeeper - Shay Given
Playing behind such comical defenders as Jean-Alain Boumsong, Alessandro Pistone, Alain Goma, Marcelino, Didier Domi, Nikos Dabizas, Steven Carr (This could take a while. Just say Titus Bramble - Ed) and Titus Bramble is enough to get anyone the sympathy vote, but Given has managed to combine his victim status with a reputation as arguably the best keeper in the Premiership.


That, along with a willingness to publicly refer to the defence in front of him as "not good enough for Sunday League football around Newcastle", would be enough to get him the goalkeeper's jersey in this team. But just to cement his position, Given was put in hospital and nearly died after a bad challenge from Marlon Harewood this season, and said a couple of days later that he bore the Hammers striker no grudges and understood these things happened in football. Chelski should take note.


Oh, and of course, there was his description of the pain from that injury. Felt like acid? Brilliant!




Right Back - Kolo Toure
Being able to play in almost every position on the pitch may not always help you as a footballer - think Gareth Barry for England - but it's certainly one of the many likeable things about Kolo Toure, who played just about everywhere for Arsenal before developing into one of the finest defenders in the country.


Even from defence he managed to knock in the winner against Villarreal in last year's Champions League semi-final - the last European goal ever scored at Highbury.


And performances like that are valued in this selection. Toure gets our nod at right back over Ulises De La Cruz - a man who gives half his wages every week to charity - because he manages to be one of the best players for one of the Big Four and yet not immediately attract the hatred of the rest of the country. That's not easy.




Centre Back - Ledley King
Remember in Euro 2004 when Ledley King was brought in for the injured John Terry (and in the absence of forgetful Rio) for the game against France? And we all worried about how he would handle Thierry Henry?


As it happened, he shackled the Frenchman for 89 minutes - until Steven Gerrard slipped the sort of ball through the England defence that he failed to put through any of the opposition defences in that tournament.


Unlucky Ledley missed the World Cup this summer through injury - despite being significantly fitter than Wayne Rooney, Michael Owen, Ashley Cole and Jermaine Jenas, who all made the squad.


He also made a dramatic exit from the Euro 2004 squad when his wife went into premature labour on the day of England's quarter final with Portugal. King caught a plane and dashed to the hospital, but missed the birth. And then found out England had lost on penalties.


He's also taken the unusual step, for a Spurs star defender, of signing a new four-year contract, rather than promising to do so for six months then popping over to their biggest rivals on a free. Oh, and his first goal for Spurs happens to be the fastest Premiership goal of all time, scored after just ten seconds.


But best of all is the fact that his middle name is Brenton.




Centre Back - Olof MellbergLet's start with the most important thing about Olof Mellberg: His beard.


Having a viking's name, Olof has clearly decided he's going to have a viking's beard. It's ginger, it's unruly and - wonderfully - he plays much better when he has it than when he shaves.


Added to which is the fact he's a damn fine defender. And the fact that he injured then club-mate Darius Vassell in an England v Sweden friendly match because of an absolute refusal to give up on chasing a ball. And the fact he was sent home from the Sweden camp ahead of September's clash with Liechstenstein because of an absolute refusal to be home in bed by 11pm. Oh, and the fact that he's a damn fine defender.


Just to secure the affections of everyone who isn't an Arsenal fan, Mellberg also ruined this season's opening day Gunners love-in by becoming the first man ever to score at the Emirates Stadium.




Left Back - Wayne Bridge
We don't think it's unfair to say that part of the reason Chelski (and England's) best left back makes the list is that everyone feels sorry for him.


It was bad enough that, however they were playing, Cashley Cole was guaranteed a place ahead of Bridge in the England side. Just to rub it in further, Cole decided to move to Chelski and ruin Bridge's season there as well - a season which he had started in sparkling form, and still been ignored by Steve McClaren in favour of a man who hadn't played one minute of competitive football.


If you're shocked at a Chelski player appearing in this team, don't worry. Bridge's contract runs out at the end of this season. We can all hope he moves to a club who'll appreciate him, rather than settle for a place on the bench in return for more cash.




Right Wing - Aaron Lennon
The one thing we don't like about Lennon is the fact that he moves so quickly with the ball that it looks like someone is fast-forwarding the TV, and it confuses us.


It seems strange now that when the England squad was named for Germany 2006, Lennon's inclusion was seen as a major shock, overshadowed only by the selection of Theo Walcott. The winger's ability to change a game coming off the bench was quickly apparent, and the calls for him to start soon followed - part of the reason for the end of David Beckham's England career.


More important than all of this, though, is that when confronted by a drunken gang from F365 Towers in a Leeds nightclub following England's exit from the World Cup, Lennon handed over a bottle of champagne and, wonderfully, proceeded to buy more. Which, whatever any of you think, makes him a top bloke.




Centre Midfield - Cesc Fabregas
It might be partly due to his tender 19 years, but Cesc Fabregas is yet to offend anyone by being really, quite sickeningly good. Oh, and it's worth reinforcing that point: he's only 19.


In a refreshing change for a 19-year-old footballer, most of whom are whining about their wage packet and spending their time out drinking, fighting and pulling Page 3 girls, Fabregas seems like a geuninely nice guy. That's underlined by the fact that he has signed an eight-year contract because, in his words, "I don't want to worry about contracts and money. I'm 19. I just want to play football>"


"Cesc deciding to stay here is as important as me staying", said Thierry Henry after Fabregas signed his new deal. And he's right.




Centre Midfield - Jimmy Bullard
Seventies hair, seventies name, very much a modern-day player, cries of, "Oh no, not Jimmy Bullard" echoed across the nation when the Fulham midfielder was ruled out for the rest of the season.


Released by West Ham as a youngster, Bullard spent three weeks trying to prove himself at Peterborough. A move to Wigan and promotion to the Premiership followed - Bullard has very much come up the hard way.


Even Wigan manager Paul Jewell didn't mind when the homesick Bullard said he wanted to make the move back to London, which started off perfectly. A fans' favourite with Fulham after just a handful of games, Bullard was named man of the match in two of his first three starts for the Cottagers before he damaged his cruciate ligament.


Steve McClaren has already said he will watch Bullard's carrer with interest, and he may have to. The midfielder also qualifies for Scotland and, worryingly, Germany.




Left Wing - Ryan Giggs
Playing for ManYoo for 16 years and not being universally hated is an achievement. Being one of their finest players and still being widely popular is even more impressive.


Giggs' achievements do not need repeating - he is the scorer of ManYoo's fastest ever goal, was voted scorer of their best ever goal and has eight league titles to his name, just to list a few.


The winger is a UNICEF representative (everyone say 'ahhhh bless') and has launched a campaign against the use of landmines, earning him the nickname, bestowed now, of Princess Diana of Wales (what do you mean that's been used?). And he has worked to educate young people about racism as part of the 'Stop The BNP' campaign - Giggs' father was mixed race.


He's also the only Premiership footballer who we can remember getting a mention in The Simpsons.




Striker - Dean Ashton
Another player with the sympathy vote of being injured on his side, Dean Ashton has worked his way up from Crewe Alexandra to the England squad - with his broken ankle coming just before what would have been his debut this August.


His first game for West Ham came in a rather impressive 3-2 win over Arsenal, and he didn't look back - quickly becoming an integral part of the side that went all the way to the FA Cup final, in which he scored.


Like his captain Nigel Reo-Coker, who was very close to a place in this side, Ashton also comes across as a genuinely nice guy. Unless West Ham sort themselves out soon, you can hope your club sign both of them when they go down in June.




Striker - Nwankwo Kanu
Kanu had two headstarts in the 'being liked' stakes when he first made his way to these shores. The first, rather predictably, was a first name that made everybody giggle like schoolchildren, to the point that the Nigerian requested it wasn't used. The second was the revelation that, while he waited for his family to join him and his TV to be connected, Kanu was spending his time wandering about his great big house doing kick-ups. Add this to the 'overcoming adversity' bonus of a hole in the heart and Kanu was on to a winner.


He's somehow never really done as well as a man with his skill should, which also adds to his appeal. And we say that despite him winning the Champions League with Ajax, Premiership and FA Cup medals with Arsenal and the Olympics with Nigeria. Oh, and he has massive, massive feet.

There are other players that are loveable like
Scholes , Bergkamp etc.

Ole ,never seen anybody hating the baby face assasin.

BilalShah wrote:There are other players that are loveable like
Scholes , Bergkamp etc.

Both got nasty sides to their game though.

Although saying that, so does Fabregas.

Parks Lives wrote:
Centre Back - Ledley King
Remember in Euro 2004 when Ledley King was brought in for the injured John Terry (and in the absence of forgetful Rio) for the game against France?

Harsh