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Sir Alex Ferguson, sorry, the PFA, have named the usual suspects in their Premiership Team of the Year. F365 follow suits by taking a swig of Scotch and naming its alternative...
Goalkeeper: David James
Amazing what being dropped by England can do for a player's reputation. Even if James has been in excellent form for Pompey this season, he has still been prone to commit a few of his infamous calamites. It is a flaw which has ceased to matter for pundits and public; due to his international downgrading, James' form has become another sought-after stick with which to beat Steve McClaren.
Still, James' new record for clean- heets in the Premiership was a fair reward for his performances in 2006/07 - although the worth of a record set in a league that isn't 20 years old is highly dubious.
Right-Back: Michael Essien
As recently mourned in the Winners and Losers column, it has been a particularly bad year for right-backs in the Premiership. By his usual tremendous standards, Gary Neville's form was average, so Chelski's £24m utility man Michael Essien deserves a starting spot in recognition of his tremendous efforts all across the pitch.
Although the Ghanaian actually only begun a couple of matches at right-back, his second-half performance in that position at Old Trafford in November was the season's best.
Centre-Half: Ricardo Carvalho
It is unreasonable to quibble with Nemanja Vidic's inclusion because the Serbian has emerged as one of the league's most formidable centre-halves (and also been pencilled in to win the Breakthrough Player of the Season gong in F365's end-of-year awards). As an alternative, Carvalho is a respectable selection because he is another unheralded cornerstone of a title-chasing defence who doesn't receive the recognition he deserves because his regular partner happens to be English and a media darling.
Centre-Half: Joleon Lescott
Considering that the Everton defender hasn't enjoyed even faint praise for his debut season in the Premiership, Lescott has a claim to be the league's most under-appreciated performer this term. Whether in the centre or at left-back, the £5m signing from Wolves has stood out in a typically thrifty defence.
Left-Back: Gael Clichy
The only realistic challenger to Evra's status as the league's best left-back this season, Clichy has been terrific since his comeback in October. Having missed the equivalent of an entire season over the previous two years due to injury, the French youngster's advance has been even quicker than Arsene Wenger could dared have hoped for when he allowed Cashley Cole to depart for Chelski. And jeez, he is quick. "Clichy is a flying machine," Steve Coppell memorably declared in March.
Right-Wing: David Bentley
A desperate inclusion because nobody has come close to emulating Ronaldo this season.
Centre-Midfield: Kevin Nolan
Not that his displays for Bolton are sufficient compensation for that rancid BBC column however.
Centre-Midfield: Cesc Fabregas
'A disgrace' would be a suitable description for the naming of Steven Gerrard on the PFA's short-list and his place in their team of the year is equally reprehensible. Have they not noticed that Stevie is now Liverpool's fourth-choice central midfielder, or that his form this season has been ordinary?
Fabregas' pathetic shooting counts against him, and it is arguable that team-mate Gilberto Silva is more deserving of recognition as well as the brilliant Essien and Everton's under-rated Mikel Arteta, but the young Spaniard has produced some scintillating performances - not east his man-of-the-match effort at Old Trafford which put even Ronaldo in the September shade.
Left-Wing: Ryan Giggs
Gordon Taylor, the PFA chairman, justified Giggs' inclusion on the short-list for this year's Player of the Year award on the basis that "The sight of Ryan flying down the wing is, to this day, one to behold" and "Even now, at the age of 33, he glides across the pitch, almost effortlessly".
In truth, Giggs' foraging runs are a thing of the past.
For this team, his selection is on account of his set-pieces. It's a facet of the Welshman's game that has only been revealed (and improved upon) since David Beckham's departure. Not only does Giggs deliver one of the most dangerous dead-balls in the Premiership but he is also one of the few players in the league who can be relied upon to deliver a corner that actually travels beyond the first defender.
Striker: Benni McCarthy
To borrow from this week's Winners and Losers column: An unheralded star of the Premiership season. Even if his tally is boosted by four penalties, the South African's return of 15 league goals is a heady achievement in his first season in England. Only Ronaldo and Didier Drogba, both of whom play in vastly superior teams, have scored more.
Striker: Dirk Kuyt
Dimitar Berbatov, named in the PFA team, has emerged to take Tim Cahill's unofficial status as the best player outside of the Big Four. McCarthy is certainly another contender.
As an alternative for the Tottenham striker in this team, Reading's Kevin Doyle deserves a mention, along with Boro's Yakubu and Darren Bent, scorer of 11 goals in a fading cause for Charlton. Kuyt is an entirely subjective choice. The Dutchman hasn't scored heavily, but then neither was Mark Hughes a prolific goalscorer and he was nonetheless a terrific player to whom Kuyt is comparable.
Pete Gill
What would be your alternative Team Of The Year?
Goalkeeper: David James
Amazing what being dropped by England can do for a player's reputation. Even if James has been in excellent form for Pompey this season, he has still been prone to commit a few of his infamous calamites. It is a flaw which has ceased to matter for pundits and public; due to his international downgrading, James' form has become another sought-after stick with which to beat Steve McClaren.
Still, James' new record for clean- heets in the Premiership was a fair reward for his performances in 2006/07 - although the worth of a record set in a league that isn't 20 years old is highly dubious.
Right-Back: Michael Essien
As recently mourned in the Winners and Losers column, it has been a particularly bad year for right-backs in the Premiership. By his usual tremendous standards, Gary Neville's form was average, so Chelski's £24m utility man Michael Essien deserves a starting spot in recognition of his tremendous efforts all across the pitch.
Although the Ghanaian actually only begun a couple of matches at right-back, his second-half performance in that position at Old Trafford in November was the season's best.
Centre-Half: Ricardo Carvalho
It is unreasonable to quibble with Nemanja Vidic's inclusion because the Serbian has emerged as one of the league's most formidable centre-halves (and also been pencilled in to win the Breakthrough Player of the Season gong in F365's end-of-year awards). As an alternative, Carvalho is a respectable selection because he is another unheralded cornerstone of a title-chasing defence who doesn't receive the recognition he deserves because his regular partner happens to be English and a media darling.
Centre-Half: Joleon Lescott
Considering that the Everton defender hasn't enjoyed even faint praise for his debut season in the Premiership, Lescott has a claim to be the league's most under-appreciated performer this term. Whether in the centre or at left-back, the £5m signing from Wolves has stood out in a typically thrifty defence.
Left-Back: Gael Clichy
The only realistic challenger to Evra's status as the league's best left-back this season, Clichy has been terrific since his comeback in October. Having missed the equivalent of an entire season over the previous two years due to injury, the French youngster's advance has been even quicker than Arsene Wenger could dared have hoped for when he allowed Cashley Cole to depart for Chelski. And jeez, he is quick. "Clichy is a flying machine," Steve Coppell memorably declared in March.
Right-Wing: David Bentley
A desperate inclusion because nobody has come close to emulating Ronaldo this season.
Centre-Midfield: Kevin Nolan
Not that his displays for Bolton are sufficient compensation for that rancid BBC column however.
Centre-Midfield: Cesc Fabregas
'A disgrace' would be a suitable description for the naming of Steven Gerrard on the PFA's short-list and his place in their team of the year is equally reprehensible. Have they not noticed that Stevie is now Liverpool's fourth-choice central midfielder, or that his form this season has been ordinary?
Fabregas' pathetic shooting counts against him, and it is arguable that team-mate Gilberto Silva is more deserving of recognition as well as the brilliant Essien and Everton's under-rated Mikel Arteta, but the young Spaniard has produced some scintillating performances - not east his man-of-the-match effort at Old Trafford which put even Ronaldo in the September shade.
Left-Wing: Ryan Giggs
Gordon Taylor, the PFA chairman, justified Giggs' inclusion on the short-list for this year's Player of the Year award on the basis that "The sight of Ryan flying down the wing is, to this day, one to behold" and "Even now, at the age of 33, he glides across the pitch, almost effortlessly".
In truth, Giggs' foraging runs are a thing of the past.
For this team, his selection is on account of his set-pieces. It's a facet of the Welshman's game that has only been revealed (and improved upon) since David Beckham's departure. Not only does Giggs deliver one of the most dangerous dead-balls in the Premiership but he is also one of the few players in the league who can be relied upon to deliver a corner that actually travels beyond the first defender.
Striker: Benni McCarthy
To borrow from this week's Winners and Losers column: An unheralded star of the Premiership season. Even if his tally is boosted by four penalties, the South African's return of 15 league goals is a heady achievement in his first season in England. Only Ronaldo and Didier Drogba, both of whom play in vastly superior teams, have scored more.
Striker: Dirk Kuyt
Dimitar Berbatov, named in the PFA team, has emerged to take Tim Cahill's unofficial status as the best player outside of the Big Four. McCarthy is certainly another contender.
As an alternative for the Tottenham striker in this team, Reading's Kevin Doyle deserves a mention, along with Boro's Yakubu and Darren Bent, scorer of 11 goals in a fading cause for Charlton. Kuyt is an entirely subjective choice. The Dutchman hasn't scored heavily, but then neither was Mark Hughes a prolific goalscorer and he was nonetheless a terrific player to whom Kuyt is comparable.
Pete Gill
What would be your alternative Team Of The Year?
you like him - good player but utterly detestable.
Diouf's my player of the season. True, last few months he hasn't been that good, but for the first six months he was simply unstoppable. Bolton have never had a player who could be such a nuisance. Diouf is a perpetual thorn, who always provokes something.
