Michael Owen brochure

Did anyone else see the Michael Owen brochure "revealed" in the Daily Mail? I was going to post the images for the whole thing but then I realised there were thirty two pages ffs! Anyhow, here are some of them...the rest are at the link below. Good thing they did this otherwise Hull might not have known what they were going for

























http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-1194209/MICHAEL-OWEN-BROCHURE-The-complete-32-page-agents-dossier-fallen-Newcastle-star-England-striker.html

The most embarrassing thing is that it apparently was only sent to 8 clubs, so Hull probably didn't even get it initially.

I like how they've listed "Appointed Newcastle United club captain" as a career achievement. He's easily our worst ever captain, the man is known as a jellyfish, he still hasn't commented on us getting relegated, he either doesn't have a backbone or doesn't have any respect for the fans. Probably both.

I didnt want City to sign him unless it was on a pay as you play deal but now i know he is cool, global, good looking, clean & fresh i think Sparky should offer him a 5yr deal on £150k a week.

Jellyfish in a goldfish bowl is a proven bad combo

Sgoater1 wrote:I didnt want City to sign him unless it was on a pay as you play deal but now i know he is cool, global, good looking, clean & fresh i think Sparky should offer him a 5yr deal on £150k a week.

I'd have thought 'fit and healthy' would have been very reassuring to potential suitors.

L-r d wrote:Jellyfish in a goldfish bowl is a proven bad combo

It usually equals a move to Spurs.

"Michael Owen is one of the most feared goalscorers in the world"

Is this thing official ?

I'm still convinced it was created by some geek like Batman for the amusement of the public

"Powerful physique"


MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

He's only won the Uefa cup + one FA Cup and for the rest he's won fuck all

He's an even bigger loser than Ballack

"at 1.73 meters he can also double as garden gnome"

Under his Career Achievements they put the 97/98 Golden Boot down twice..

2 months out after he did this.

borocooper wrote:

2 months out after he did this.

Jaime wrote:

Funny describing himself as committed and devoted on a brochure where he's touting himself out to new clubs after the one he played for got relegated

I honestly can't imagine what the people who designed and sent this were thinking. And it would be interesting to know whether Owen knew about this or not. Cringe worthy is the least you can say.

kas wrote:I honestly can't imagine what the people who designed and sent this were thinking. And it would be interesting to know whether Owen knew about this or not. Cringe worthy is the least you can say.

They work in advertising. They use terms like 'Brand Values'.

As Bill Hicks wisely said:

By the way, if anyone here is in marketing or advertising...kill yourself. Thank you. Just planting seeds, planting seeds is all I'm doing. No joke here, really. Seriously, kill yourself, you have no rationalisation for what you do, you are Satan's little helpers. Kill yourself, kill yourself, kill yourself now. Now, back to the show. Seriously, I know the marketing people: 'There's gonna be a joke comin' up.' There's no fuckin' joke. Suck a tail pipe, hang yourself...borrow a pistol from an NRA buddy, do something...rid the world of your evil fuckin' presence.

" More than one groin"

The bit in Spanish on one of the pages isn't even properly translated. A lot of effort obvioulsy went into making the brochure

"his phenomenal goal scoring record will continue in any tactical formation"

...as long as its 4-4-2.

Oh, and it must be alongside Emile Heskey.

Have a sympathy for him, mate...

He scored that brilliant goal against Argentina and didn't miss in the shoot-out (at 18 yrs old)

Stoke have declared their interest, he must feel so wanted. I would love to see him get relegated next year.

Silly Little Girl wrote:Have a sympathy for him, mate...

He scored that brilliant goal against Argentina and didn't miss in the shoot-out (at 18 yrs old)

WHY WONT YOU DIE

Pulis said he didn't even get a copy of the brochure!

Jaime wrote: Pulis said he didn't even get a copy of the brochure!

Like i've said, only 8 clubs got it, probably the top 4, Villa, Everton, City, and Spurs. That's how deluded he is.

Stoke and Hull how embarrassing. He might as well just stick to the horses.

L-r d wrote:Stoke and Hull how embarrassing. He might as well just stick to the horses.

No way, he's lost too much pace to be competitive in that field as well...

Kimbo wrote:

Jaime wrote: Pulis said he didn't even get a copy of the brochure!

Like i've said, only 8 clubs got it, probably the top 4, Villa, Everton, City, and Spurs. That's how deluded he is.

So the Spanish part was for Benitez and the Italian part for Ancellotti. Where was the French part for Wenger and the Scottish part for Moyes?

Good luck reading that italian part, it's just some nonsense gibberish from an automated translator.