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the WUNDERKIND in question is THE STAR of the U-20 World Cup so far
and if your club is called Barca, Real, Milan, Inter, Juve, ManU, Chelsea or Liverpool,
HIS NAME is CURRENTLY reverberating in "your" boardroom with the noise level of a Concorde taking off (or rather Schalke fans celebrating a goal, which is even louder, of course)
couldn't you just mention him in the Conveyor Belt Thread (?), I hear borocooper shout; " it's tidier that way"
CHAPS
PUR
LEASE
we are NOT talking about just another product of the Endless Conveyor Belt of German Talents here
we are talking about a
WHOLE
NOTHER
LEVEL
let me explain
the goodlooking fella
above is a chap called
FUSSBALLGOTT
or rather , let's call him that for a now
and of all the names in the notebooks of those 2000 scouts currently observing the U-20 World Cup,
HIS name is RIGHT AT THE TOP OF THE LIST
WHAT HAS HE DONE; YOU GERMAN DICKHEAD, I hear "dim sum" yell from the farthest reaches of Repulse Bay
well
let me put it like this
ONCE upon a time, there was a football game between the U-20 teams of Nigera and Germay
WINNER TAKES ALL
was the rule
and THAT ALL was nothing other than a ticket to the QUARTER FINALS of the U-20 World Cup against the glamour boys from Brazil
the Germans, HELAS, had to play with a cross of their C and D team
28 or 29 of their best players were forced to take a rain-check
their clubs needed their silky smooth skills in the Bundesliga
SAMMER, the wisest man in world football, alongside Ballack, was spitting fire
THIS IS A FARCE
he said
we may even BOYCOTT this CHARADE
WE CANNOT WORK UNDER THESE CONDITIONS
wise though he is
beyond your wildest imagination
Sammer had forgotten what all of you already know
GERMANY possesses an ENDLESS CONVEYOR BELT of GERMAN TALENTS
yes, yes, yes
I hear you moan
cut a long story short and tell us how Herr FUSSBALLGOTT has managed to wiggle his Teutonic derriere into the notebook of my club's chief scout as the HOTTEST TALENT to emerge in Europe since the arrival of Zizou (or Podolski, for that matter)
well
let's just say FUSSBALLGOTT
did a MARADONNA
he single-footedly defeated NIGERA and lifted an already perfectly good Mannschaft to TWO DIFFERENT LEVELS
to give you some background info so that you can begin to appreciate the magnitude of the lad's achievement
the WUNDERKIND is a DEFENDER by profession
either a left-back or a centre-back
he currently plays for the Bayern Munich RESERVES
so, glenn
the boy has NOT PLAYED a single minute of first league action
neither has he played a single minute of second league action
in fact, he only has about 30 games of THIRD league action under his belt (I think)
in other words, he is as D-Team as a gets
so
back to
ONCE UPON A TIME there was a football game between the U-20 teams of Nigera and Germay
WINNER TAKES ALL
was the rule
and THAT ALL was nothing other than a ticket to the QUARTER FINALS of the U-20 World Cup against the glamour boys from Brazil:
Nigeria and Germany keep their power dry in the first half
in the break , both teams decide to
to produce the football that marries African physicality and German flair
till
DEATH DO US PART
the Africans give the first warning shot: goal after 51 minutes
FUSSBALLGOTT
is steaming and proceeds to level the score within 45 SECONDS
64th minute: a German attacker is WRONGLY given the RED CAR by the EVIL ref
11 Nigerians look at 11 Germans
in an effort to win the Nobel Peace Prize, all 22 players decide to ignore the ref and pretend NOBODY has caused an unspeakable football injustice
FOUR minutes later Nigera score to lead 2:1
with about 25 minutes to go and a man down, the German bees are stirring under the German bonnet
the script says, GERMANY ARE DOOMED
takes a look at the scipt and decides to TEAR IT TO PIECES
SEVEN minutes later the WUNDERKIND produces an ASSIST to what will be the 2:2
REMEMBER, Germany are still a MAN DOWN
with 90 minutes on the clock, 3 minutes of extra time are given
FUSBALLGOTT (the trained defender)
thinks of the NBA playoffs and realises that you do NOT take a shot once you are in possession
rather
you keep the ball for as long as possible
to POUNCE with only a few seconds to go
the WUNDERKIND
lies in wait like a jaguar about to jump his unsuspecting prey (let's say a holiday hunter from Surrey)
and THEN
STRIKES with the lack of mercy of Baron von Richthofen
he grabs the ball in his OWN HALF and RUNS
and boy , does he run
football historians will later call him the Forest Gump of World Football
for the lad zig-zags across the pitch covering a distance of 70 metres
that is
SEVENTY METRES
TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRR
3:2 for Germany
THEY THINK IT'S ALL OVER
Nigeria still get to kick off the ball a final time , a few seconds later
IT IS NOW
so, what is the name that we should etch into our foreign brains for eterny ?
what is the name of the player that MY club is hunting as if it was the last remaining Faberge egg ? I hear you cry
well
his name is BJÖRN KOPPLIN
and he costs
200 million Euros
I haven't read it but still laughed just browsing down
