Players with goal phobia?

You know those players that seem to piss their pants whenever they're in front of goal? They either pass the ball when they have a much better chance to score themselves, or take a long time to shoot or shoot horribly or both? Who are the most notorious ones?

Presently the best example I can think of is Hleb. Whenever this guy is in a scoring position, he looks like he's watching some kind of horror movie by the expression in his face. He generally passes and when he shoots he makes mistakes that only 12 year old girls make. Last weekend's miss against Chelsea was just another example of his horrible shooting.

An older player with this problem was Carlos "el Pibe" Valderrama. This guy could be 10 meters in front of goal and he would rather wait 20 seconds for another player to show up and give him an assist than shoot. The funny thing with Valderrama was that he always got his passes right though. So insted of doing a simple tap in from close range, he would do some kind of super chip over 3 defenders that would leave his teammate with a free header. He was definitely some kind of assist king.

Ahh... we have a whole host of players who are shit infront of goal. I swear most of them just close their eyes and blast it...

Snowbispo wrote:Ahh... we have a whole host of players who are shit infront of goal. I swear most of them just close their eyes and blast it...

Cisse?

Agree with Hleb, he looks like he'd rather pass the ball backwards than take a shot. Still a good player though.

For us its Park Ji-Sung.

Torrente wrote:

Snowbispo wrote:Ahh... we have a whole host of players who are shit infront of goal. I swear most of them just close their eyes and blast it...

Cisse?

And Gerrard and Kuyt to a lesser extent. Bellamy too...

Cesc, Hleb - they're the main two for us.

Alonso can finish...


Alonso > Cesc.

Snowbispo wrote:Alonso can finish...


Alonso > Cesc.

How many goals has he got this season?

For us its Adriano

Tinseldum wrote:

Snowbispo wrote:Alonso can finish...


Alonso > Cesc.

How many goals has he got this season?

He's been injured

Neither of them score enough.

Cesc, shooting is the funniest. He just shoots it right at the keeper everytime.

ParktheHeraldAngelsSing wrote:Neither of them score enough.

Cesc, shooting is the funniest. He just shoots it right at the keeper everytime.

If Alonso played as far forward as Cesc he'd score twice as many goals. His shooting is far better.

Roberto Carlos' shooting is pretty funny nowadays too. Most of the time he just hits it at the nearest player to him. His free kicks have reached a new level of comedy since he doesn't even shoot them hard anymore. He even has trouble getting the ball off the ground so nowadays he just hits it low and soft to the wall player's feet.

His free kicks were never too accurate to begin with, but at least in the past the sheer force from his shots would scare the hell out of anyone who got in the way.

So he'd score 4 goals a season then?

ParktheHeraldAngelsSing wrote:So he'd score 4 goals a season then?

I think he's scored over that in both the seasons he's been here. Not bad for a defensive midfielder.

bluenine wrote:For us its Adriano

Can't blame the guy can you?

Nuno Gomes and Kikin come to mind.....

Rooney occasionally

Fernando Redondo was that way, he would always pass up open shots, and the thing was he had a really powerful shot. I remember one goal he scored with Tenerife, it was like a howitzer but he rarely shot the ball.

Santi-Claus wrote:Fernando Redondo was that way, he would always pass up open shots, and the thing was he had a really powerful shot. I remember one goal he scored with Tenerife, it was like a howitzer but he rarely shot the ball.

That's true. He did seem to pass up on many shooting opportunities. From what I've read about Redondo, he used to play a lot of Futsal when he was growing up, so he could have grown that tendency to generally pass from this.

To be honest, at times Arsenal looks like a Futsal team, the way they pass the ball around non-stop with no one willing to take a shot.

In Sporting: Polga, central defender.

Even if he is a central defender, in 4-5 years he failed to score a single goal for Sporting, even though he has tons of chances in corner kicks. He hit the post plenty of times, failed at half meter from the goal line, with goalkeeper, without goalkeeper, ... you name it.

I wonder why he keeps going to attacking on corner and free kicks. Let him rest back there, and let João Moutinho (1,70m) try to score...

Heskey was the worst I can remember - he went through a phase of not shooting that was painful to watch.

Torrente wrote:You know those players that seem to piss their pants whenever they're in front of goal? They either pass the ball when they have a much better chance to score themselves, or take a long time to shoot or shoot horribly or both? Who are the most notorious ones?

Presently the best example I can think of is Hleb. Whenever this guy is in a scoring position, he looks like he's watching some kind of horror movie by the expression in his face. He generally passes and when he shoots he makes mistakes that only 12 year old girls make. Last weekend's miss against Chelsea was just another example of his horrible shooting.

An older player with this problem was Carlos "el Pibe" Valderrama. This guy could be 10 meters in front of goal and he would rather wait 20 seconds for another player to show up and give him an assist than shoot. The funny thing with Valderrama was that he always got his passes right though. So insted of doing a simple tap in from close range, he would do some kind of super chip over 3 defenders that would leave his teammate with a free header. He was definitely some kind of assist king.

Cesc and Rosicky have also a goal phobia...

Iniesta was like this very much, until this season when he has suddenly found composure.

ParktheHeraldAngelsSing wrote:So he'd score 4 goals a season then?

4 goals being?

What?

One more than Cesc scored in the league last season? the crucial figure a midfielder needs to demonstrate hes a good shooter?

Hey?

It was in response to Obi's comment about how Alonso would double his tally if he played further forward.

But why the number 4?

It seems strange to pluck a number like that out the air

Because if he doubles his league tally of about 2 a season it will be.......

Ahh, I got confused - because I'm sure he gets about 6/7 a season doesn't he?

No, he's got 6 league goals and he's now half way through his third season.